Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Just for Today

I will live through the next 12 hours and try not to tackle all of life's problems at once.

I will improve my mind, I will learn something that requires effort and concentration.

I will be agreeable. I will look my best, speak in a well modulated voice, and be courteous and considerate.

I will not find fault with a friend, relative or colleague. I will not try to change or improve anyone but myself.

I will have a programme. I might not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two enemies:hurry and indecision.

I will do a good turn and keep it a secret. If anyone finds out, it will not count.

I will do two things I don't want to do, just for the exercise.

I will believe in myself. I will give my best to the world and feel confident that the world will give it's best to me.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Making Changes in Every Child

Reflecting on the days i have been through in SK Brickfields (1), i can't help but to confess that school is the place for me now. From the day i walked into the school, i never walked out of the school thinking 'this is the shittest ever job in the world'. All i could ever think and feel is to give up. No kidding. There are so many challenges and obstacles in the classroom which simply drive me crazy and headache!

Yet, after a cold shower yesterday, as i lay back on my bed, i started reflecting every single incident that has happened last few days. As my cousin, Siao Ling Ah-jia onced said, 'every step of one's life journey is a challenge, regardless of his age'. Come to think of the chronological development we've gone through, this is exactly what i mean. Often, when we see juniors or those studying for UPSR, PMR, and SPM, we like to tell them 'Easy lar. no problem one lar.' This is it.

So, what's the big big challenges in school?

For once, i am given a weaker class: 5P class. It's the second better class of the two classes for primary 5. Before entering the class, plenty of comments from different teachers were heard: naughty students, English proficiency very low, no interest to learn, look out fortwo notoriously hyper students and bla bla bla...

Surprisingly and gladly, the class did not go out of control often. In fact, they were quite quiet and did not bother to disturb my class. Maybe it is still in the very early of the teaching stage. Yet, i want to give a big hug to
Ron Clark's movie which usefully taught me how to handle behavioural problems. Those of you who have problems overcoming behavioural issues, you are advised to watch this. FYI, this is a movie not made only for behaviour management, it's about finding success in every child! Go watch it!


If behavioural problems are settled, so what's the big deal then? Man, only God knows how low their language proficiency is. Low motivation, low interest, shyness to speak up, and low proficiency in reading, writing and listening. Considering all of these factors, i cannot deny that some of the students do not and did not understand my instructions at all. (Been there, done there. Once, i asked one student what he should do, no reply. Asked if he understood what i was saying, he said 'no'). This probably made them so quiet in class.

After an interview with some of my students yesterday, i found out that most of them come from either low socio-economic family background (parents work at Carrefour, postoffice and as taxi driver) or broken family. Cases like parents divorce, staying with stepfather, or stepmother or grandparents are not rare in Malaysian school now. Undoubtedly, children suffering from one of all these hardships are not guided to learn well, not aware of the importance of education, and of English too.

That's why after each lesson, i felt exhausted thinking of their language level. I was once told by my lecturer in QUT that i am better off teaching gifted kids. But, here i am teaching the worse class in primary 5, where the students fail to write even one simple sentence, to speak one sentence of English, and to listen to a simple instructions. Just feel like giving up!!!

Somehow, there is something is holding me on. First, I was reminded of what my cousin once said before. Secondly, I was reminded of the God's wonderful gift for me. I would be dead by now if it is not for the gift of life He has now given me. Thirdly, i was reminded of a quotation which says, 'if you are going through hell, keep walking.' haha... how true is that statement? and fourthly and lastly, I am put here in 5P to make a change in every child, to make changes in each of them. And if there is one student whose life i have changed, i am a success.

Somehow, i can see a glimpse of hope in some of my students. i said 'some' because i had just talked to some of them yesterday. you see, what i care is not so much of them keeping quiet in class. what i really care about is them having the right attitude to want to learn English, the positivity to know that learning English is FUN, the braveness to speak up in English, and the desire to talk to me about what they don't know or what they want to know more of.

I see this in them. After a talk with some of them yesterday, i was a little happy because they want to learn English. It is them who really want to learn. One boy after i took 30 minutes drilling him to read five sentences correctly, he told me he wanted to read it one last time. And yesterday morning, one girl who is my student showed up in my office and told my colleague that i am an interesting teacher. Man, that is an early compliment.

As was mentioned before, I am put here in 5P to make a change in every child, to make changes in each of them. And if there is one student whose life i have changed, i am a success. I know it will take lots of time, effort, patience, guidance, consistency, courage, commitment, and not to mention the amount of money i am spending on them! But at the end of the prac, i will know all of these are worth it.

Way to go Mr Ling.

One Day at a Time

It's worth the watch.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

dead

i am dying. Somebody just gets me out of here. School's crazy!

Monday, June 18, 2007

to school

Wow! I can't believe I am going to school tomorrow. It is the same school i went last 3 years, SK Brickfields.

Though physical appearance of the school does not change much, much has changed in terms of its administration, students, classrooms, facilities and headmaster.

3 years ago, the school was a boy school, 'occupied' by notoriously lovely boys. But today, i was informed that it has been changed into a co-ed school: both boys and girls. This means tomorrow, as i step into the school, I will not only be looked curiously by the boys, but also the girls too.

The school has upgraded a great deal in its facilities. It is heard that the school now has a audio-visual room which was not available 3 years ago. The same goes with the school library which was nowhere to be seen 3 years ago.

One thing i am sure still remains in the school is its canteen. It is still under the same management as of 3 years ago. In retrospect, the food there was just lovely and delicious. They have food which is specially made for us teachers.

Not sure what to expect of the teachers, school and principle tomorrow. But one thing i know is that i am going to school with a different purpose this time. Not longer am i walking into classroom observing, but more of expecting some useful learning of the students, inspiring them to want to learn, and forgetting to take care of their welfare.

Always be on the humble and positive side.

Way to go, Mr Ling!

my school, SK Brickfields 1

Staff photo 2004

All boys school

me & an ADHD kid, forgetting his name d ><

Saturday, June 16, 2007

"My name is I am"

(Source: Li May's Blog)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Story of Johnny and Sarita

The following story is copied and paste from a friend-of-mine's blog.

“Johnny Lingo’s the sharpest trader in this part of the Pacific.”

The simple statement made the villagers choke with muffled laughter and almost fall of the veranda steps.

“What goes on?” I demanded. “Everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then breaks up. Is there no such person or is he the village idiot?”

“Not idiot,” said Shenkin. “Only one thing. Five months ago Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He paid her father eight cows!”

He spoke the last words with great solemnity. Two or three cows would buy a fair-to-middling wife, four or five a highly satisfactory one.

“Eight cows!” I said. “She must have beauty that takes your breath away.”

“That’s why they laugh,” Shenkin said. It would be kindness to call her plain. She was little skinny with no – ah – endowments. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked, as if she was trying to hide behind herself. She was scared of her own shadow, frightened by her own voice. She was afraid to laugh in public. The cousins urged Sam to ask for three cows and hold out for two until he was sure Johnny’d pay one. But Sam was so afraid that there’d be some slip in this marriage chance for Sarita that he wouldn’t hold out for anything, so the cousins resigned themselves to accepting one cow. Then Johnny came in and said ‘Sam Karo, father of Sarita, I offer eight cows for your daughter,’ and delivered the cows.”

This story interested me, so I decided to investigate. The next day, I reached the island where Johnny lived, went to his home, and was welcomed b him with a grace that made me feel the owner. I told him that his people had told me about him, that they said he was a sharp trader, that the marriage settlement ha had made for his wife was eight cows, and that the local people wonder why he paid so much.

His chest expanded with satisfaction. “When they speak of marriage settlements, it will be remembered that Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita.”

I was disappointed. I guess he felt he had to make himself famous for his way of buying a wife. I was tempted to deflate him by reporting that in Kiniwata he was laughed at for a fool.

And then I saw her. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Not with the common earthbound beauty of the girl who carries fruit. This woman had an ethereal loveliness that was at the same time from the heart of nature. The lift of her shoulders, the sparkle of her eyes spelled a pride to which no one could deny her the right. She moved with a grace that made her look like a queen who might turn into a kitten.

“She – she’s glorious. Who is she?” I asked.

“My wife.”

I stared at him. Do they practice polygamy here? He, for eight cows, bought both Sarita and this other?

“There is only one Sarita,” Johnny said, in reply to my puzzlement. “Perhaps you wish to say she does not look the way they say she looked in Kiniwata,”

“She doesn’t.” The impact of the girl’s appearance made me forget my tact. I heard she was
homely. They all make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karo.

"You think eight cows were too many? Do you think anyone will make fun of us when they see her now? Much has happened to change her, particularly the day she went away.”

“You mean she married you?” “That, yes. But most of all, I mean the arrangement for the marriage. Do you ever think what is the lowest price of which she can be bought? And then later, when the women talk, they boast of what their husbands paid for them. One says four cows, another six. How does the woman feel who was sold for one or two? This could not happen to my Sarita.”

“Then you paid that unprecedented number just to make your wife happy?”

“Happy? Yes, I wanted Sarita to be happy, but I wanted more than that. You say she’s different from the way they remember her at Kiniwata. This is true. Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside, things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman on the islands.”

“Then you wanted…”

“I wanted to marry Sarita. I loved her and no other woman.”

“But –" I was close to understanding.

“But,” he finished softly, “I wanted an eight-cow wife.”

SOURCE: McGerr, Patricia. (1988, February). Johnny Lingo’s Eight-Cow Wife. Reader’s Digest. In Bruce W. Tuckman (1992) Educational Psychology: From Theory to Application. USA, Florida: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Inc. (Page 288-289) ISBN: 0-15-520871-3

On its surface, this story tells an undoubtedly sweet love story between two beings: how the two appreciate and love each other's both outside-in and inside-out. It sees how one truly values the other person so highly that no amount of money nor the number of cows can replace the beauty of him/her.

Somehow, the story does make a little distinction between the status of men and women in that society. More often, women are seen as an object for exchange of cows. And the exchange for the number of cows exchanged is dependent on the physical beauty of a woman. For a man to have a beautiful and satisfied wife is to have more cows. Hence, one can say that beauty is measureable, and love is made partly conditional: on its beauty. But that's not fascinates me.

What truly fascinates and strikes me in this story is first, the reactions of the villagers toward the decision made by the man, Johnny, second, the need of self-efficacy for one to truly believe in themselves in doing anything, and lastly, the importance of seeing the inner beauty of oneself.

The reactions of the villagers towards the man's decision

Looking back on the responds given by the villagers on the man's decision of paying eight cows for a shoulder-hunched-and-head-ducked woman, they have not been very positive. Neither have the villagers been supportive of his decision. As one villager in the village, one will surely wonder, is he making the right choice (paying 8 cows for the woman)? why does he have to be so stupid? Does he do to make himself famous?

If i was Johnny, seriously this is not some easy questions to answer. It concerns not only his uncertain future with the woman, but also the reactions and responds from the community which are more likely negative. Yet, this dilemma can be easily resolved by giving in to what others are thinking and saying. But he is not of such. This brings me to one lesson my lecturer Mr.Aslam once taught us, "What do you wanna be? a swallow or an eagle?"

Guess when i come out in the society next time, i will be facing all kinds of people: people who try all ways to drag me down, and people who will support and encourage you to keep climbing. Let's not be too far-sighted. Take an example of me going to school next year or even next week for teaching. I believe no matter how many kind people there are in a small community, there are in fact one or two 'viruses' who try to infect you with all sort of negative mentality. Basically, they just want to see you FALL real badly. It may concern your determination, your effort, your passion, or even your attitudes towards teaching. Comments such as 'tak boleh lar' 'itu tak mungkin jadi punya' 'mana mungkin boleh menang' 'kelas tu dah hopeless' have already been uttered in daily conversation between teachers. Sooner or later, this ini-tak-boleh-itu-tak-boleh attitude slowly reins in our decision making, compelling us to be one like them.

To give in to these negative comments are to be part of them, part of this kind of people. Just as swallows move or migrate in large groups, our lecturer associates this swallow with the group of people in a community who share similar interest, who think the same way and who like to be in their own comfort zone. This may well be referred to the negative-minded teachers, or those who are trying to drag you down. Similarly, in the story above, Johnny will be a swallow if he had given in to what the villagers think of the woman.

To be one who is among the least wanted people in a community is to be an eagle. This is a person who fly up high, who are able to see things in different perspectives, who possess different attitudes and characters to working. Johnny is one example of an eagle. Yet not many people can be eagles, not everyone can fly so high [though "everyone now can fly" (AirAsia)], or even want to fly so high. But if there is, he is not afraid of flying higher and higher, taking up more responsibilities, making new changes and having new 'eyes'.

to be continued...

Monday, June 11, 2007

Moselle