Consistency

The word consistency often implies one of behaving and performing in a certain and similar specific way continually. And it is something that I suck at doing ever since I was a little boy.

One good example dates back to my childhood when I once loved playing piano. One day my mum brought me for piano lessons. After a year or so, for whatever reason, I stopped loving piano as I used to. I told my mum I wanted to stop after Grade 3 but she said, ‘Since it was you who first said you wanted to learn piano, so you gotta finish at Grade 5 at the very least’. I did it at last.

Now that I am much older, I can recall many things in lives which I lost out many things due to the lack of consistency in me. I am not sure if this is what becomes of me today. But I definitely hear my parents said something like this to me, ‘got head but no tail’ (meaning getting in of doing something, but dropping halfway through it).

I realized that many times, I wanted to change for the better. I have all the good fabulous plans in my head of how things will go about with this new change. But after few weeks or months, this plan of change slowly slackens. And slowly, with new agendas coming in, and old habits – complacency etc – kicking in, I unconsciously return to my own self. That’s why I hate consistency, or the idea of being consistent.

In school, one struggle of being a beginning teacher is to be consistent in what I am doing. We know all the good values a teacher should have, but I don’t think I have it all. One of the values, for example is to be firm with the kids. Firm does not mean strict like teacher never smiles in class, but rather be definite in his decision-making and flexible in seeking and accepting alternatives, underpinned by his fundamental principle of what is right and wrong.

The beginning few months were a struggle for me. As much as I wanted to be a boss in class, I also wanted to be a teacher who enjoys talking to the kids, connecting with the kids, learning new language and culture from them and even making crazy jokes with them. At first, things sometimes could get pretty out of control with kids laughing and starting to get impolite. But slowly, I learnt to take charge and was firm with my intervention. They too start to know what is to expect of them with their behaviour and when I am making jokes with them.

This is just one example of me being consistent in class. Despite having to take charge, I am still struggling with the consistency in punishment and dynamism to teach on day when I have 9 periods.

Also, there are many things in my lives that I am not having the consistency of doing. I think I am just lazy. Yes, lazy. I’m very lazy indeed. Nothing can beat my laziness when I am truly lazy.

Yet, I cannot allow this to get control of me. I know I will have more to lose if I continue to be one. And being losers many times, I must look for solution now – how not to be lazy but to be consistent instead.

Been there, done that. There is only one solution. Yes, only one. And it’s none other than my one and only redeemer and shepherd, Jesus Christ. Believe me when I said, all that I become today is because of Him. And all that I will become tomorrow is because of Him too. And today, I pray for Holy Spirit, for His strength, grace and perseverance to make myself new again on the inside and transform my heart (see Ezekiel 36:25-27).

A verse to reflect today: “Not by power and might, but by your spirit Lord” (Zechariah 4:6)