Someone special in my life

Christmas is always a time of joy, peace, happiness and more importantly hope. It fills me with joy to know that we have a savior born for us, and indeed we are celebrating. Just as our schedule is filled with activities like BBQ, partying, open-house, drinking, hanging out and stuffs, i like to think of it as a time of appreciation, a time to thank those who have helped me unceasingly, and brought incredible change in me. And as i began to reflect on my academic life in the past two years, my mind turns immediately to one person who has helped me unconditionally. She lifted me up when i was miserably defeated. She offered me unconditional help more than any person would do. And, this person is Jo Carr.

~Buka Puasa '05~
Jo is my course coordinator - ED47. When i first entered QUT, it was totally a different environment from IPBA. Then, she would make an appointment with all of my cohort every Friday afternoon, to talk to us informally and more importantly, to know more about us. One of the questions she asked then was, "Who here likes to be a teacher?", "Who never thinks that he/she's going to be a teacher?" and "Who is here because of their parents?" I remembered i was giggling at the back there with my friends. I wasn't really interested in her questions, but i enjoyed her English. It's very entertaining i must admit. We talked for like one hour before we were dismissed. We had that for almost a semester. Later, this made me realized that Jo is a friendly lecturer, someone whom i can talk easily to. And this set the ball rolling.

As she was one of my unit's lecturer, she always offered us help especially in draft correction. She didn't nag us, but in a polite manner, she asked us to send her assignment draft if we could finish it early. As a late-minute guy in IPBA, i was never interested in doing assignment early. But, i stubbornly sent her my draft (my first draft) a few days before its submission, and to my total surprise, there were many errors. and i mean a lot, countless of them. More surprisingly, it the reply or the corrected draft came in after few hours i sent in. How efficient i thought she is. No lecturer in m`sia would ever do that. This slowly motivated me to correct my mistakes, and slowly encouraged me to do my assignment early with the intention that she would correct it for me, and i would get an A for it. Back then, getting A is an impossible thing for me to do. Never in my IPBA life that i've ever got an A. An A seemed to be the hardest job i would want to achieve. As much as she has helped me with my draft, i became more motivated to do the same with other units as well. In the end of first semester, i was surprised to see that i'd actually got 2A's. All thanks to Jo and Jan who was my determined language support lecturer.

Second semester came, and it definitely had become tougher than the first. The highlight for the second semester is that i've failed my Children's Literature first assignment. On 21st Sept 05, after putting my effort and burning midnight oil in working on this assignment, it turned out 'miraculously' that i got a 3/7 which is a Low Pass - a grade that will cause my student visa to be terminated if i get more than 3 times. What caused me more frustrated was the unit's lecturer who didn't seem to be interested in my explanation. She declined my request to explain what i'd written. Well, i was down, shocked, disappointed, depressed, devastated and more seriously, HOPELESS. it seemed to me that my dream had been shattered by her. My heart cursed her more than anything, and i had no one to blame to. With a hopeless heart, i approached Jo, thinking that letting her know would be a better idea. She though was busy with other appointments, approached me in an understanding manner and asked me to calm down. She agreed to see me the next day. The next morning, when i told her my thought about letting this matter go and putting more efforts in the upcoming assignments, she didn't quite agree with my suggestion. Instead, she asked if i want my paper to be marked by second marker. She explained to me the pros and cons of paper being marked by second marker, followed by her suggestion. Suddenly, there was a hope beginning to shine inside. The whole process took me two weeks and during these days, i made an effort to see her and talk to her. Our talk was informal and she liked to cheer me up when i was stressed with upcoming final assignments and about the CL paper. Finally, the verdict has announced. They agreed to give me a pass. i couldn't be any happier and thankful for what Jo had done for me.

I remember this time last year (Christmas season), Jo and Meera had put up a makan at Beadles in Kelvin Grove. She realized that some of us did not make our way back home, and suggested that a simple treat and lunch would be a good idea. Besides having good talk there, Jo had shared her experience of having to teach in an island for more than 10 years. How phenomenal!
~Christmas last year~
It's needless to say that every semester is tougher than the previous ones. But what makes one think that 'it's easy' is an act of mind. If we are able shift our mind to think of something difficult as 'i can do it', then no mountain is too difficult to climb. Yet, it's not easy. In fact, it comes with a lot of courage, motivation, determination, resilience, perseverance and ongoing effort to actually to make our dream come true. And sometimes I must admit, I was faced with depression, demotivation, lonely, stress and hopeless thought. But Jo was there for me. She would always be at her office, unless she had classes to attend or outstation work to attend.

Everytime i met her, she would give me a big smile despite of her 'busy'ness. I knew she was very busy, yet i wanted to talk to her. Sometimes, i would tell her how stressful and busy i was, she would listen and give me a smile. Then, she would say 'Good. You still have 3 weeks left. Do what you can do'. Sometimes, if she herself is busy and feeling stressed, she would say, ' I know. I have got bla bla bla report to write, bla bla bla article to submit'. Until now, I never felt her pressuring me academically. Instead, she would ask me to relax, take deep breath or go for a walk. I think she knew i had been pushing myself too hard already. And i think what she said was true.

At times when i was demotivated and lazy to do my assignments, i would go and bug her to nag me, to give me words of motivation. lols. tat's a funny thing. She looked at me sternly in the face for a while and said 'You just have got to do it' or 'tell yourself you have to do it'. Sometimes, if she her is stressful, she would turn to me and sigh, 'i don't like writing bla bla too. Let's motivate each other okay.' I remember the last word of motivation she gave me during ICT presentation, 'what do you get (for your paper)?' then i replied '7'. 'then you have to work for it. it's your last paper. your last paper until Jan next year. keep reminding yourself of it'.

In these two years, Jo had been like a mother to me. there were many instances she helped me with things that i couldn't do alone, and she made them happened. And i am really grateful for all that she's done. In her simple personality, she motivates me when i was lazy and down. She taught me how to behave in an Australian classroom, how to teach, how to balance my life, how to Stand after a Fall. She listened to every single word i said: my complain, my whinge, my crap (which is actually quite offensive in aussie culture) and my request. She gave me words of wisdom and encouragement that i will not forget. And most importantly, she has changed my life.

The last words from her before we bid goodbye as we hugged were, 'Take care of yourself. Do whatever you believe it's right for you.'
~us at Sunshine Coast '06~
ps: She is in fact the first person that said 'JUST GO WITH THE FLOW' to me and my cohort.

Thank you Jo.