Change

Tonight, as I looked back at the days passed by, I can’t believe myself making such a positive adaptation to the life of IPBA. There are so many things which I wish to whinge about but I stay calm and tolerant over them, believing always that there are people out there who might not be as fortunate as I am. Things such as better Internet expectation, better collection of resources, better choices of food, better environment for learning, better accommodation, better weather and better transportation, are just some of the impossible things that will ever happen here. Somehow, I could adapt myself nicely here, without facing too much of a hassle.

Things change; situations change; people change. That’s the beauty of life. I can’t deny that some of my friends here have changed big time, physically, mentally, emotionally, intellectually. While taking some time to catch up with the latest gossips, I was made aware of some friends who have actually changed drastically and are now complete different people. Yesterday, I was just telling one of my friends that I could not believe all of us now are back together again. It seemed like yesterday we met and today we are seeing each other again. I remembered last time, I had to go to one place to see collective of friends there, and today, we are seeing each other everyday even if we don’t wish to. He nodded in agreement. I guess changes are inevitable and it is not a good thing though if we are on the purpose of discovering more about our inner self.

I don’t know how coming back to IPBA will change me. Will it ever change me? Or will I obstruct myself from making any changes? Will it change me for better or for worse? Will I be the same person as how I looked like when I leave this place end of this year? How would I look like? Many uncertainties. I believe there will be unpredictable roads which I will step on and walk on it as I go along this year. But will I pull off from this road? How do I know if this road leads to greater discovery of me?

Today, I finished reading a biography book called ‘My Story’ by Lim Goh Tong. It’s interesting to read and notice how his life has changed from one occupation to another. Though he started his dream of building Genting in his 50’s, I believe what he had gone through in the past had slowly and consecutively prepared him to be who he is today and what he has accomplished today. What he’d gone through were the positive values and attitudes of ongoing effort, perseverance, think positive, decisiveness, never give up, respect for risk-taking, and one who believes that there is always something: something to think of, something to make thing happen, something to do, something more than just something, something in something and something good in everything.

I have yet to find out where I am heading to in years to come. The fact that I have come back IPBA marks a last hurdle to my life as a student teacher. What’s certain ahead is the road to primary school for few years (maybe 3 or 4 years) which is essential for my experience and my vocation – my purpose in life. One thing I noticed about my life is as I walk on this life journey, this journey is becoming tougher and harder, with its own obstacles, temptations, doubts, uncertainties and challenges. Questions become more difficult to answer; friendship becomes harder to maintain; people become weirder beyond our comprehension; situations become harder to handle.

But u know, it’s always good or should I say BEST is to stay positive, to think positive, and to act positive.

Ps: I must thank Biribiri for encouraging me to write an appeal letter to Peter. Apparently, Jo replied me later with conviction that Peter has agreed to give me an extra mark. I am waiting in eager for the change. Thanx to my mum and dad too for supporting and praying unceasingly for me. U guys are the best!