time to let go
Two years ago, one of my assignments in 2nd semester was 83.5. It was disasterous to see that with one and a half mark, i would get a 7 already. There was nothing much i could about it after having to know from my lecturer, Jim that my mark would not be changed. I let it go.
Last year, same thing happened again. 84 this time. Even worse! 1 mark. After months of sending and receiving emails from him (Peter), the dream of hoping to get a 7 is shattered. What do u want me to do? pleading to him to have it corrected again? flying there to plead him? NO way.
truly, there is no reason for me not to not hope again for a 7. Miracle doesn't happen all the time, i guess. Things don't go the way we want them to be. Timing is not right. Everything is in place yet they seem to be sinking. i think and think. think of why he won't give me just 1 mark? professional ethics? discriminations? past phobia? all full of crap reasons.
Looking elsewhere to find better reasons, i saw two words from a wooden frame, 'peace' and 'believe'. what's tat supposed to mean? to actually ask me to believe in miracles again and to believe that a 7 will turn out one day? hahaha...
i was devastated as i said, with this result thing, not with other thing. And i think sometimes, we just have to learn to let go what you cannot hang on to. like this result, there is no reason why i should keep or remain hope in it again. i did what i can. yet Miracle didn't happen. So that's it. End of the story. Case closed! to hope that miracle to get a 7 will happen again is to cling on to the past. Sighhh. life has so much more to offer u than to cling on ur past.
Should i let go of this hope? or should i not? i have let go of any form of miracle that will ever happen on this.
Time will tell.
posted by Nicky @ 2:17 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
:) to have peace is to know that God is in charge of each of your circumstances..."Lord, please grant me the serenity to accept the things i can't change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference"
to believe is to believe that there will be something good out of this whole situation :) and you've already done all you can, kudos for the effort! :) there must be something! :D
well, maybe not a 7 or 'miracle', but maybe God is trying to teach you something? :) you never know...
i read a very inspirational devotional thought entitled "Let Go and Let God" this morning... wil just shared a litl extract that struck me most...
"When my son left home, i experienced a period of intense suffering, and during this time God had my undivided attention. As painful as this time was for me, i trusted the Lord to bring good out of it for me and my family. As i sought Him daily through prayer and Bible reading, God showed me that my son had become a kind of idol to me. When He led me to Jesus' words in Matt 10:37, i felt convicted.
Until that moment i hadn't realised that I had often demonstrated more love and devotion for my son than for God. And God was not about to play second fiddle in the life of one who had professed Christ as their Lord and Saviour. i immediately confessed my sin and comitted myself to put God first from that moment, with His help..."
:) hang in there, my friend! (^^)9
Nik,
I can't remove the worry from your consciousness.
I can't remove the dread of you having to face another challenge.
I can't carry your burden for you.
I can't even help you carry it.
But I know you are concerned, as you should be and I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and praying for both you & your lecturer and sending you both good thoughts.
You're strong & you're going to uncover some things about yourself even you didn't know.
You're going to find the strength you didn't know you had and the grace to handle whatever comes along.
Just remember that everything changes
So it's just a matter of time until this trial will be over & you will draw strength from the knowledge that even tho life handed you a challenge, you survived;
You carried on.
Trust means believing the impossible.
God bless
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