Is grass really greener on the other side?

Is grass really greener on the other side?

I don't know. Maybe you can share your points after this.

Recently, one of my good friends and I met together for supper after months of not-hanging-out. On such occasion, we would talk and chit-chat over what we are up to, our work and our social life. Unfortunately, he has resigned from his previous work due to some misunderstanding. I felt bad for him. However, that wasn't the point. The thing that struck me is that he told me he wants to leave Sibu, simply because the town is pathetic and also his very personal reasons. From his tone, i could sense he is dying to leave this place, being very optimistic that he will find the true him in the new place. Somehow, he is confident that if he ever gets out from this place, he would be a better person than he is now.

In my mind, i was thinking, Is he really going to be happy on the other side of the world? Is he really going to find his true self in the new place? Is the new place really that pleasing and better off?

Another experience. My colleague in school (not to mention his name) has been teaching for 7 years, and this is his second posting to the school I am teaching in now. It is the fourth months of us teaching here, but he is already thinking of a next transfer. He felt that the workload he has here is much more than what he had in his previous school in the rural. In fact, he has a heart of a gold, and a determination of an ant. But, this has not given him an easy path in school. Instead, he is made 'victim' to be taken advantage of. I feel bad for him. It just seems like being hardworking is not worth it as others may simply take advantage of you. He told me he wants to leave this place. He said he wants to go home, to a new school where workload will not be this heavy.

But in my mind, i was thinking, is life going to get easier for him in the new school? How sure is he that his new school will not give him more burdens and hassles? Is grass really greener in the new school?

This friend of mine is my best friend. He has finished his study end of last year. And he has been working in Bintulu but has now resigned from his position. Where is he now? He's in KL. Why such far? Simply because he believes the grass is greener on the other side. In March, when he was in Sibu, we had conversations over what he wants. He said he wants to go Singapore. He said it's much easier to find a decent job there. I informed him of its advantages and disadvantages. He said it's better for him to gain some experience overseas first. I nodded, hoping Singapore would give him a better job and pay. And he really thought that the grass would be greener on the other side.

However, as i did a catch up with my other friend in Singapore yesterday, he told me he is now in KL and is planning to return home. Why? Simply because he can't find a job there. Now he's thinking of doing his MBA, in which i believe it's better for him after all that had happened to him.

See, is grass really greener on the other side? Is situation really getting any better when we get to a new environment? Will we get happier on the other side of the fence? I don't know. Till today, I am constantly reminded of what my aunty (Ashwin's Mum) in Penang said. She once told me, many people think that grass is greener on the other side; they thought they would feel happier if they are on the other side of the fence.

But does it always happen?
The answer is NO.

Why?
Because in the end, they are still the same old them. They are them, they continue to be the same, and they never change. The weaknesses they had for years remain unchanged or even unidentified. In the end, they die without knowing why the green is NOT always greener on the other side.

The point i want to make here is that grass may not be greener on the other side. I use 'may not' because i still believe grass can be greener on the other side, but not always though.

Very often, we fail to identify that the problem we face is actually rooted within our own very self. We often substitute our problems with other people's fault. It's always their fault, not our fault. Seldom have we looked into the mirror and reflect that by some chances, the problem is actually us, not others.

And how often do we feel insecure when we found our friends have something that we don't: money, position, luck, abilities, confidence and talents. We felt that if we are in their shoes, perhaps we can do better than them, if not equal to them. Our insecurities and greediness get the best out of us, slowly flooding in our minds, as we start to lose appetite of the grass on our own side, but to think and indulge in the grass on the other side.

Without us noticing it, we slowly lose realizing all the good things on our side. What a shame! The grass on the other side is definitely green, not necessarily greener. But it's surely different. But to keep the grass on our side greener, we certainly can do something to make it green again.

By this, i probably mean we have to face it, nurture it, give it a different fertilizer which might actually work. In situations or problems when we can't change its reality, we certainly cannot change the fact of situation. Yet, we can certainly have control over the way we think. And we can change the way we think. We cannot give up, cannot run away from it, but to face it, to stay where we are.

Start all over again if that's the only choice we have. Try all different fertilizers, try all strategies, until we see the grass grow green again.

For all we do when faced with problems is to run to a greener side, what good will we get? We can't always run to a greener pasture everytime we have problems, can we?

To quote from a forwarded e-mail,

Touch someone with your love.
Rather than focus upon the thorns of life,
smell the roses and count your blessings!