away

am away to KL today for this Sat's Commencement

&

an International Conference on Developments in the Pedagogy of International Languages: A Gateway for Practitioners

02-04 June 2008

A Journey with Him Part II – digging out the roots

In the early parts of the seminar, the boy came across many posters written with beautiful scriptures. He was however struck by one which has the figure of Jesus knocking on a door that has NO door handle from outside, and it’s written, “Listen! I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into his house and eat with him, and he will eat with me’ (Revelation 3:20).

The boy knew what the scripture was saying. Literally, it means we have to stay alert because Jesus is standing at the door and knock; and if anyone who hears His voice and opens the door (the heart), He will come into his heart and live with him.

But the boy felt nothing about it. He heard nothing even when he had tried to open his heart. For years the poor boy had been listening, but there was no answer to the very questions he asked of Him. He did not get what God was trying to tell him. He had not seen what God wanted of him.

The following day was Sunday, and that’s where Christians all over the world would go to church for mass and Eucharist celebration. When Bishop Dominic was giving his sermon on the feast of Holy Trinity, the boy finally heard something which could be the answer to his very question – 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 “Three times I prayed to the Lord to take it away. But his answer was: ‘My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak…”

This immediately prompted the boy’s mind. He began thinking what the Bishop said. In the Bishop’s talk, he said Jesus said I have given you everything you need to live a happy and peaceful life. Why are you still complaining? Why are you still asking for more? The blessings I gave you is sufficient for you to live a happy life, why do you need to go search for more material and humanly things?

It daunt on the boy that for all these while, he had set his focus wrong. As life goes on, it was his greediness that made him want God to give him what he wants, not God giving him what He wants. And now, he was being reminded that what he is now and how he is living now was more than sufficient for him. And there was no need of him asking for more from God.

Humbly, he let go of his ego, knelt down in silent prayer of forgiveness. What's more is he thanked His Almighty Father for opening his eyes to see the unseen.

For let His will be done, not his. For His grace is all he need, and for His power is greatest when he was weak…

And indeed, the scripture of Revelation 3:20 sounded very true, “LISTEN! I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into his house and eat with him, and he will eat with me’.

listen.......

And his journey continues…

A journey with Him Part I - the route taken

Once, there was a boy walking in the jungle. He wanted to find the meaning of life. So, he went, all by himself in the jungle. But he was never alone.

Throughout his journey in the jungle, he had always wanted another person to walk together with him. He wanted someone whom he can share everything with her, love her and to be loved. And indeed, he had met some very beautiful women in his journey. But, they did not work out well. Not because they were not beautiful physically – which in fact they are, but due to some differences in values and beliefs.

So, the boy did not give up. He kept walking. And as he walked, he would sometimes stop and pray. He prayed that one day he will cross path with the one woman he will love and be loved. Also in his prayer, he truly prayed for those who used to love him or still loved him, so that they too will one day find the one for them or understand who he is and his being. He waited and waited.

It’s been years now. One day, the boy stopped walking. He thought of all his prayers. None of them was answered. He started wondering if God has been listening to him. Enemy started to haunt him with the thoughts that God is not there and he was not worthy to be helped. And so he whined and complained, starting to get really impatient.

Just at that moment, he came across two routes. One looks green and straight – without any word on the route sign. The other one is greener but with its twists and turns – with the word ‘Inner Healing & Transformation Seminar’. The boy didn’t know which one to choose. And so, he sat there for days thinking which route to take.

In the end, he took the latter route though his conscious mind somewhat disagreed. Yet his heart asked him to give it a go with the reaffirmation of external signs around him. Suddenly, a scripture that has long been forgotten fall on him, “No eyes has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has imagined, what God has PREPARED for those who LOVE him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).

For all you know, the boy did not know what he was in for. Enemy in his mind still tried to deceive him to change his mind. But the boy refused to give in to the thought, for he believed one thing: there is always something - something God wanted to tell him there.

And so he went.

And his journey continues...

I'M LOST!

Today, I had a talk with my good friend. As we talked, we slowly moved into the relationship topic. We started questioning why bad relationships happened and started questioning GOD. Hate this!

~~confusion, doubts and bitter~~

1. If you knows what's best for me, why would you put me in a few relationships that didn't turn out well?

2. Why would you take away people who have loved me so much (unconditionally) just because of some cultural and spiritual reasons?

3. Will I ever be back in the game?

4. Why can't you just give me the person i want to love and be loved for my entire life?

5. For months and years, i have been waiting for your answers, but where are you with your answers?

6. Where are you when we are deeply hurt? Were you there to heal us?

7. Why do my past experience kept haunting me when thinking of initiating a new relationship?

8. How long should i wait for you and your answer?

9. When are you coming exactly?

10. Why can't i see things the way you want me to see? Where are your signs and who are your messengers?

I'M LOST!

WHERE THOU ART????