How I Wish......

When it comes the end of each week, I will be very troubled. I will worry a lot. On my appearance, I will appear very normal but deep down, I am troubled. I know I have the issue to resolve. And this issue will always be there every end of the week until I-don't-know-when.

It is the issue of transportation.

Last year, my few colleagues and I had been taking turn car-pooling to school. It was the best times of the year. But, happy moment will not always be there.

Early this year, 1 of my colleagues had transferred to somewhere far far away. So, she is out. Left the 3 of us car-pooling. The issue began when I no longer have my car to fetch my fellow colleagues. The car I have been using is my dad's, and now he needs it. And, I am left to think of what to do next.

There are few things I can do. One is I can pay others to drive me which cost me RM80 per month. Two is I can take a bus up which cost me RM13 up and RM10 down.

Problem arise when I felt very ashamed (not feeling so nice) when it comes to asking my colleagues whose car i can use and pay. They were sometimes reluctant to drive their cars as i know they sayang their car very much (considering the journey to my school is not really that smooth sailing due to many potholes, and other factors like tyres and engine maintenance). But I remained thick-faced to pluck up my courage to ask them. And each time i asked, they did agree to drive though I could see in their eyes that they had a pinch of reluctance sometimes. But i knew i could do nothing. I had nothing to offer. I feel bad.

Then, things got a little more complicated this semester after the leaving of another colleague. This time, there are only 3 of us (me n 2 colleagues) sharing the car pool, with me having no car to offer. I am once again very troubled. Actually, i got more worried and troubled than before everytime Friday and Sunday is approaching.

I know I can afford to get a car. Having a car will be blissful. It will solve all my problems besides getting anywhere i want with my new car. But deep down inside, I know the time to buy is not right yet due to several reasons.

So, what is happening now is, I am either following my colleague up on Friday and Sunday or I am taking a bus up. With another 2 months to go (half of Sept, Oct and half of Nov), I think I will continue to be troubled and worried every Friday and Sunday. By the end of the year, i am thinking my face skin will grow 5 inches thicker.

So far, I am glad that my colleagues are willing to drive me back. I don't have to hitch a bus to go home. They are such a nice and helpful bunch of people. I just thought perhaps, i should add more values to their service like stopping me at the nearest place near their home, so that they won't have feel the reluctance to send me. Or was it just me being over sensitive thinking they would be unhappy to send me, or thinking I am a burden to them.

In fact, I am learning more to do good deeds and learn to 'mengampu' at the same time, in hope that they would send me home. OMG right?

How I wish I have the car like everybody else? How I wish these 2 months would quickly come to an end? How I wish I don't have to worry anymore about who I follow back with for the weekend? How I wish...

Perhaps, I am learning to accept the fact that I can't have everything I want, and to embrace anything that I'd been given.

(photo taken from Cartoonstock)