To go or not to go?

It’s that time of the year now that teacher around the nation who wishes to transfer can submit their transfer application. The first semester has seen one teacher submitting his form but was being rejected. Now I see more of that coming. And I wonder should I do the same?

One thing that has been bothering me so far is that people do not seem to be emotional when thinking of getting transferred after having to spend a year of building a carefree community. When I looked at them and their facial expressions, I see that their anxiety to leave the school is higher than together building a community of togetherness.

When asked for their opinions and also of others outside the community, I realized that these experienced people are used to this trend of asking for transferred, and that this is part of life. Is it?

I, being a beginning teacher of almost a year experience here am expecting the worst, which is seeing almost everybody leaving and disappearing by early next year. It would be pretty traumatic of me seeing this and being the one still standing there.

So, I am thinking of whether I should do what they do? It was not my intention at first to leave the school until I get my pengesahan “confirmed” in my post. However, looking at this situation today, I can’t think of not leaving due to some of the similar factors my colleagues are leaving. *these factors are private and confidential and hence will not be shared and discussed here*

Yet, leaving would mean a totally different new environment for me if it is granted. It would mean me adapting to new environment, new administration, new management, new colleagues, new community, new students, new expectation, new tasks, and new challenges. Am I ready to take up all these?

You know, sometimes I am amazed by these foreign people coming from all over the world. Their willingness and love to venture out and seeking new horizons have made some of them really successful. Educational professors for example, do not stick to one university for long. After a few years, you see them working with a new university or better in another country. How do they cope with changes?

Not leaving, on the other hand would mean I will stick to the same environment and everything. Everyday will be another day passing by, experiencing the same difficulties which has contributed to the factors why some people are leaving.

At the end of the day, I think I need a good reason and purpose which are greater than reality to leave. I want to get as close to home as I possibly can. I don’t mind about the new workloads from the new administration, but I do mind them taking some care of my welfare. I want to see new places and meet new people, rather than staying put while meeting new people. I am ready for new challenges. I want to be one leaving rather than the one left behind. Somehow, I prefer saying goodbye of leaving than goodbye to people who are leaving.

I think I have made up my mind – ask to LEAVE.

*FYI, not all applications for transfer are granted. Yet, at least I have made an attempt to try. So, even if I fail, I will have no regrets right?*