Things are not as they seem
Things are always as they seem; just as you believe and you WHINGE that things do not go the way you want it to be, you never know there's something greater is working inside and around you. As i had personally told Jesus in my prayer during Ignite Conference that i will surrender myself to Him, letting Him taking control of my life, something in which i never thought it would happen happened!
It occured in relation to the Mahsuri play recently: a play in which my cohort (1) and Cohort 2 did as our farewell play. let me bring you guys through the sequel of this event.
Pre-play (sometime in the end of August or early September)
it was announced that we were going to do a play. the story of Mahsuri was selected. Committee members were chosen; and i was chosen to be in charge of lighting. So, i got a role: the lighting guy. Obviously, i was excited.
Pre-play (sometime in the middle of September)
There came a day when Hilmi, the director asked me if i could be the prosecutor for the play. I agreed undecisively. The me at that moment was feeling even happier because i would be part of the play.
Another night came by, and i was down there watching them practising, they suddenly needed a person to act: just for a short period of time. Then, i was told to participate. i thought that this was even more awesome because i was not only going to participate in the play, but also taking two roles in the play. i felt so proud of myself.
Pre-play (one week before the Mahsuri play: 7 Oct)
Those who were going to act or work on prop went to Carseldine for our practice. I was there, up there in the sound and lighting room. Because i had never operated lighting before, i knew nothing about it. Simply nothing. But, David, the sound operator, awesome and experienced guy not only taught me which button for which colour, he told me the history of QUT and how bizzare the lighting board can work: it can work for more than 1000 different lights in just one board. Awesome guy, awesome experience i had on that day.
But, toward the end of the day, i told him (Dave) that on that night, i would ask my fren to help me with the lighting. I guess it was my fault at first for not letting him know, he didn't look very happy yet he was calm. Actually, he was alright with it. However, at that moment, i kept optimistic that i was still going to act.
Pre-play (1 day before the play: 12 Oct)
That day, i wasn't feeling very happy. Arriving at the operator room on top, i saw a lady who turned out to be the manager of the whole system. She obviously ruined the whole thing, saying that Dave was actually paid to teach me bla bla bla; and i turned out not doing lighting on that nite. i went down n asked my friends, expressing all unsatisfaction to them. In the end, i unhappily let go of my roles. In my heart, i was like, how can i let go of my roles? how can i not be part of this play? tis is my own chance. Never will i have the opportunity to seek attention from audience. All i wanted was to seek the attendance from audience. However, i remained in the lighting room, configuring the right console, doing what i was supposed to do. Anas, in the end of the day, said something that i never expected, 'thank you Nicky. you have made your biggest sacrifice this year, giving up your roles'.
The Mahsuri play (13 October)
The day came. The day everyone had been waiting for was right there on that night. We had two rehearsals before the real thing began. Everything went on perfect. Lighting was great, sound system was awesome. All we waited was for the night to come.
After dinner and a short shower, i had myself hidden on top in the room together with David, the lady last night and Justin (not the real name), a guy who was hired by the lady to guide me. But i was given the green light to operate the play.
During the play, there were a few times when Justin told me that my lighting skill was great, giving me a thumb-up. I simply thanked him without taking what he said seriously because the play was not over yet. Every second i was feeling nervous, afraid that i would be making mistakes. There were few times when i was hurrying to get the light off or on too early. Not sure if audience noticed it or not.
The Mahsuri turned out to be awesome. Simply perfect, enjoyable, inspiring and amazing as according to the audience who attended. One of my biggest surprise that night was that the lady whom i didn't like the night before, congrat me and said i did a great job. I smiled at them and said, Thank you. Thank you for everything. i thanked David for all his stories and teachings. He has been such a great bloke. Respect him.
I was happy after the play was over. Feeling happy and content. However, the night was not over until our coordinators have said something. The most surprising moment was then. It was when Hani gave her beautiful speech. She thanked everybody for putting such effort in making this play a success. What struck me was when she announced the director, the prop manager, the actors and actress, and not forgetting me, the lighting guy who had hid from others. Everybody just cheered us. And all of us got a bouquet of flower and a koala bear toy. The night was awesome. Simply the best.
Yet, in my heart, my question to God was still there, why did u sacrifice my role as an actor?
Post-play (15 Oct)
There was a FUEL that night at St.Patrick Church. The theme that night was friendship. Just as i prayed for all the people whom i know, thanking them for being there for me when i was down or even when i was in bad mood, there was this one moment of silence in my heart that my mind is not thinking of anything. It was then when a sentence came into my mind. Remember what you did in Ignite, you want yourself to be surrendered to God, let Him take control of you. And now, it was Him that take control in my life. It made me reflect the time when i was expressing my anger to my friends for not being to give my role to my friend as a lighting person. i was actually attempting to take control of my life. i want my role. i seek for attention. i don't care what others say. i want to be part of the acting.
But, God has a different plan for me. He has a greater plan in store for me: being a lighting person. And, once He has a plan for me, i can never run away from it. He actually used my friends to change me, to make me realize that i can not be part of the role, to make me aware of his plan. To be honest, operating lighting has never been so interesting for me. in fact, after i was told to just operate the light, i found what i was doing very insightful and experiential. I learned, i gained so many things. Things that i never know i would know i would learn if i were just an actor. This also made me realized what God said, he will not give us things that we don't like doing or we cannot do. He knows us well that he knows what is good for us and He want us do it for Him, to build the kingdom of God, not for self-satisfaction or power or fame.
The theme for that night really struck me. God actually used friends around me to make aware of his mighty plan. But we must always be aware of what is good and bad. Because there are temptations or friends around us that will bring us down. We must be careful of this.
Post-play (22nd Oct)
That's today. There's a scripture inside the gospel today that struck me. it struck me in this same matter, made me related how He has worked in me.
Mark 10: 43-45 said that, "...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Relating this to myself, i realized that to follow Christ journey, to follow Jesus, i come to this earth not be served by people, not asking my desire to be fulfilled; but to serve people, to help people, to accept what's others say, most importantly of all to learn to listen to others. To listen means to listen what's best for me, to listen the truth in others, to listen and evaluate reasons underlying their needs.
~The End~
Thank you Jesus.
It occured in relation to the Mahsuri play recently: a play in which my cohort (1) and Cohort 2 did as our farewell play. let me bring you guys through the sequel of this event.
Pre-play (sometime in the end of August or early September)
it was announced that we were going to do a play. the story of Mahsuri was selected. Committee members were chosen; and i was chosen to be in charge of lighting. So, i got a role: the lighting guy. Obviously, i was excited.
Pre-play (sometime in the middle of September)
There came a day when Hilmi, the director asked me if i could be the prosecutor for the play. I agreed undecisively. The me at that moment was feeling even happier because i would be part of the play.
Another night came by, and i was down there watching them practising, they suddenly needed a person to act: just for a short period of time. Then, i was told to participate. i thought that this was even more awesome because i was not only going to participate in the play, but also taking two roles in the play. i felt so proud of myself.
Pre-play (one week before the Mahsuri play: 7 Oct)
Those who were going to act or work on prop went to Carseldine for our practice. I was there, up there in the sound and lighting room. Because i had never operated lighting before, i knew nothing about it. Simply nothing. But, David, the sound operator, awesome and experienced guy not only taught me which button for which colour, he told me the history of QUT and how bizzare the lighting board can work: it can work for more than 1000 different lights in just one board. Awesome guy, awesome experience i had on that day.
But, toward the end of the day, i told him (Dave) that on that night, i would ask my fren to help me with the lighting. I guess it was my fault at first for not letting him know, he didn't look very happy yet he was calm. Actually, he was alright with it. However, at that moment, i kept optimistic that i was still going to act.
Pre-play (1 day before the play: 12 Oct)
That day, i wasn't feeling very happy. Arriving at the operator room on top, i saw a lady who turned out to be the manager of the whole system. She obviously ruined the whole thing, saying that Dave was actually paid to teach me bla bla bla; and i turned out not doing lighting on that nite. i went down n asked my friends, expressing all unsatisfaction to them. In the end, i unhappily let go of my roles. In my heart, i was like, how can i let go of my roles? how can i not be part of this play? tis is my own chance. Never will i have the opportunity to seek attention from audience. All i wanted was to seek the attendance from audience. However, i remained in the lighting room, configuring the right console, doing what i was supposed to do. Anas, in the end of the day, said something that i never expected, 'thank you Nicky. you have made your biggest sacrifice this year, giving up your roles'.
The Mahsuri play (13 October)
The day came. The day everyone had been waiting for was right there on that night. We had two rehearsals before the real thing began. Everything went on perfect. Lighting was great, sound system was awesome. All we waited was for the night to come.
After dinner and a short shower, i had myself hidden on top in the room together with David, the lady last night and Justin (not the real name), a guy who was hired by the lady to guide me. But i was given the green light to operate the play.
During the play, there were a few times when Justin told me that my lighting skill was great, giving me a thumb-up. I simply thanked him without taking what he said seriously because the play was not over yet. Every second i was feeling nervous, afraid that i would be making mistakes. There were few times when i was hurrying to get the light off or on too early. Not sure if audience noticed it or not.
The Mahsuri turned out to be awesome. Simply perfect, enjoyable, inspiring and amazing as according to the audience who attended. One of my biggest surprise that night was that the lady whom i didn't like the night before, congrat me and said i did a great job. I smiled at them and said, Thank you. Thank you for everything. i thanked David for all his stories and teachings. He has been such a great bloke. Respect him.
I was happy after the play was over. Feeling happy and content. However, the night was not over until our coordinators have said something. The most surprising moment was then. It was when Hani gave her beautiful speech. She thanked everybody for putting such effort in making this play a success. What struck me was when she announced the director, the prop manager, the actors and actress, and not forgetting me, the lighting guy who had hid from others. Everybody just cheered us. And all of us got a bouquet of flower and a koala bear toy. The night was awesome. Simply the best.
Yet, in my heart, my question to God was still there, why did u sacrifice my role as an actor?
Post-play (15 Oct)
There was a FUEL that night at St.Patrick Church. The theme that night was friendship. Just as i prayed for all the people whom i know, thanking them for being there for me when i was down or even when i was in bad mood, there was this one moment of silence in my heart that my mind is not thinking of anything. It was then when a sentence came into my mind. Remember what you did in Ignite, you want yourself to be surrendered to God, let Him take control of you. And now, it was Him that take control in my life. It made me reflect the time when i was expressing my anger to my friends for not being to give my role to my friend as a lighting person. i was actually attempting to take control of my life. i want my role. i seek for attention. i don't care what others say. i want to be part of the acting.
But, God has a different plan for me. He has a greater plan in store for me: being a lighting person. And, once He has a plan for me, i can never run away from it. He actually used my friends to change me, to make me realize that i can not be part of the role, to make me aware of his plan. To be honest, operating lighting has never been so interesting for me. in fact, after i was told to just operate the light, i found what i was doing very insightful and experiential. I learned, i gained so many things. Things that i never know i would know i would learn if i were just an actor. This also made me realized what God said, he will not give us things that we don't like doing or we cannot do. He knows us well that he knows what is good for us and He want us do it for Him, to build the kingdom of God, not for self-satisfaction or power or fame.
The theme for that night really struck me. God actually used friends around me to make aware of his mighty plan. But we must always be aware of what is good and bad. Because there are temptations or friends around us that will bring us down. We must be careful of this.
Post-play (22nd Oct)
That's today. There's a scripture inside the gospel today that struck me. it struck me in this same matter, made me related how He has worked in me.
Mark 10: 43-45 said that, "...whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Relating this to myself, i realized that to follow Christ journey, to follow Jesus, i come to this earth not be served by people, not asking my desire to be fulfilled; but to serve people, to help people, to accept what's others say, most importantly of all to learn to listen to others. To listen means to listen what's best for me, to listen the truth in others, to listen and evaluate reasons underlying their needs.
~The End~
Thank you Jesus.
posted by Nicky @ 6:56 PM
8 Comments
8 Comments:
=) beautiful.
Do u know, dear nik, that the role that night as a lighting guy was the most important one? If u had made any blunders in your job that night, no matter how good the actors/actresses act, it will all come to nought. Your skilful synchronization of the lights bring the whole thing to perfection. Your lecturer(true to his/her profession)made the right move to congratulate everyone including those hidden from view. Many times, people only see the things that are infront of us. It takes a mature mind to read in between the lines, behind the stage, behind statements and to know what is to come before it actually happens!! Guess, this is just the beginning for u, but nevertheless, an aweinspiring lesson. Journey on!
to anon:
you know, reading ur comments to nicky has really touched my heart. Am always deeply encouraged, and also in awe and respectful of your wisdom and eloquent language.
thank you and God bless you ^_^
my speech was crap!! hahaha
To Glo:
Thanks & get well soon.
To hanijoe:
Any speech that encourages & inspires is no crap. Bless you.
AWESOME!!!
to all: Thank you guys. U guys have been awesome... :)
Well-said! Well-written! -ah po-
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