Consistency

The word consistency often implies one of behaving and performing in a certain and similar specific way continually. And it is something that I suck at doing ever since I was a little boy.

One good example dates back to my childhood when I once loved playing piano. One day my mum brought me for piano lessons. After a year or so, for whatever reason, I stopped loving piano as I used to. I told my mum I wanted to stop after Grade 3 but she said, ‘Since it was you who first said you wanted to learn piano, so you gotta finish at Grade 5 at the very least’. I did it at last.

Now that I am much older, I can recall many things in lives which I lost out many things due to the lack of consistency in me. I am not sure if this is what becomes of me today. But I definitely hear my parents said something like this to me, ‘got head but no tail’ (meaning getting in of doing something, but dropping halfway through it).

I realized that many times, I wanted to change for the better. I have all the good fabulous plans in my head of how things will go about with this new change. But after few weeks or months, this plan of change slowly slackens. And slowly, with new agendas coming in, and old habits – complacency etc – kicking in, I unconsciously return to my own self. That’s why I hate consistency, or the idea of being consistent.

In school, one struggle of being a beginning teacher is to be consistent in what I am doing. We know all the good values a teacher should have, but I don’t think I have it all. One of the values, for example is to be firm with the kids. Firm does not mean strict like teacher never smiles in class, but rather be definite in his decision-making and flexible in seeking and accepting alternatives, underpinned by his fundamental principle of what is right and wrong.

The beginning few months were a struggle for me. As much as I wanted to be a boss in class, I also wanted to be a teacher who enjoys talking to the kids, connecting with the kids, learning new language and culture from them and even making crazy jokes with them. At first, things sometimes could get pretty out of control with kids laughing and starting to get impolite. But slowly, I learnt to take charge and was firm with my intervention. They too start to know what is to expect of them with their behaviour and when I am making jokes with them.

This is just one example of me being consistent in class. Despite having to take charge, I am still struggling with the consistency in punishment and dynamism to teach on day when I have 9 periods.

Also, there are many things in my lives that I am not having the consistency of doing. I think I am just lazy. Yes, lazy. I’m very lazy indeed. Nothing can beat my laziness when I am truly lazy.

Yet, I cannot allow this to get control of me. I know I will have more to lose if I continue to be one. And being losers many times, I must look for solution now – how not to be lazy but to be consistent instead.

Been there, done that. There is only one solution. Yes, only one. And it’s none other than my one and only redeemer and shepherd, Jesus Christ. Believe me when I said, all that I become today is because of Him. And all that I will become tomorrow is because of Him too. And today, I pray for Holy Spirit, for His strength, grace and perseverance to make myself new again on the inside and transform my heart (see Ezekiel 36:25-27).

A verse to reflect today: “Not by power and might, but by your spirit Lord” (Zechariah 4:6)

The Beauty in Mind of Learning

Have you ever wanted to stop learning? Or have you ever learned something from something? Or have you ever thought of the purpose of you learning something?

I think learning is very much a self-fulfillment endeavour. Learning is a self-discipline and self-discovery voyage that opens one's mind to different and perhaps greater ideology, beliefs, knowledge and reasoning. In many occasions, learning itself is self-fulfilment as I achieve what I am passionate of knowing. Learning can also be a ‘self-inflicted’ experience which brings both pains and joys to one. Why do I say that?

When I was in university (QUT), I never thought of learning. Believe me, but it’s true. Learning can refer to getting knowledge or skill in a new subject, and to start to understand that you must change the way you think. In my context, it refers to the latter. Back then, learning is more of studying and acquiring certain knowledge in a particular field required in order to get good grades. In simpler words, it’s like doing assignments for the sake of getting good grades. I never understood why I did what I was doing.

It was until when I had finished my first year in QUT with 2 High Distinctions and 1 Distinction that I realized that this is not what learning is all about. Life after all is not just about getting good grades or determined by the total of A’s you get. I started changing my perspective towards Education as something that I want to use to teach my kids and make changes in their language proficiency. My beloved lecturer and mentor, Dr Jo Carr once told me that grade doesn’t reflect how well one teaches. How true. And this learning has definitely proven more meaningful to my life and my teaching carrier.

Yet, now that I am stepping into this carrier of teaching, I cannot imagine myself being a teacher in the next 30 or so years – 56 years old or 2040. It’s not that I don’t enjoy myself teaching, but I think there are more that I am to become than being a teacher. To see that my Year 3 and 4 children growing up one day and becoming doctors or engineers or even teachers makes me think I might one day be left behind too if I am only thinking of being in this carrier.

I think I have more to contribute than just being who I am today. Sometimes, I get pretty bored with things going on in schools because everyday is just another day passing by. That’s bad to think so isn’t it? It is bad cos I can feel my brain slowly stops thinking. And when my brain stops thinking, I eventually stop learning.

But there’s something inside which always nudges me whenever I am over lazy. Lazy here doesn’t refer to being lazy physically but rather mentally. And sometimes when I watched Astro and came across shows like Inventors, Megastructures, Great Minds and The Apprentice, I would think to myself why I can’t be like them. Or perhaps one day I will be like them too?

The world today has so many influential people. And each of them has his/her own very story to tell and inspire the world. People that I like to watch and listen to are like Donald Trump, Robert Kiyosaki, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Steve Forbes, Tony Fernandes, Lim Goh Tong, Steve Jobs or even players like Christiano Ronaldo, Messi and Cesc Fabregas. All of them make wonders, inventions multi-billions deals and business. And some of them contribute so much to the world and become great philanthropists of the needy.

What about me here? Am I going to be here living my life forever as a teacher? Is this sufficient for me? Oh nooooo. I am not going to stick to this teaching carrier forever, though I do have passion for teaching. I need to get out from here. Perhaps, it’s time to change my mindset now. For all you know, I am greater than life – to think great things, to do great things, and to start learning NOW.

Learning is after all a self-interested act which never stops one from thinking. And that’s the beauty of mind of learning.

Rotan or Verbal Reprimands?

Recently, I have stopped using cans 'rotan' or doing any form of physical punishments on my Year 3 and 4's kids.

I am one teacher who uses can a lot, especially back in the first semester. I would bring a can everywhere I go. And wherever I walked, Ss walking in my direction from miles far would turn around and used another path. I was more like a discipline teacher than an English teacher. And kids' parents there often give us free rotans, ranging from small to huge rotan of half an inche thick diametrically.

But in class, I often resorted to rotan whenever Ss had behaved wrongly, lazy to complete homework, and failed in spelling test. And each time before I canned them, I got so het up and felt my nerve boiling up. Yet, I didn't feel better after that. I felt more guilty canning them. After all, I don't think canning helps solved the situation. Neither did it help improved the Ss' spelling competency.

So, beginning June this year, I decided to stop canning my kids. Simply because I don't want to get too angry with them, or in fact i should get angry with them, but I should manage my anger by using another method. I decided to use verbal reprimands.

And it's time for verbal-reprimand experiment (real case, real experiment)!

Each time I found Ss not paying attention or talking, I would either stop and stare at him, or I would call out his name. This has proved effective so far. And if he is still talking, I asked him to leave the class now if he decides not wanting to learn (Yes, i did that!). This has proved to be very effective too.

If Ss are not having enough interest or engagement in learning, I would tell them stories of the importance of English, and their responsibilies to learning. So, I am integrating motivational elements into the teaching of English language. And so far, this has proven to be effective (at least for few days, before I started nagging again).

Basically, I don't know of which theory I derive this classroom management. But I clearly know I am imparting a sense of responsibility in each of them so that they will always be reminded to be responsible for their own learning and actions (discipline). If they persist to act, think and behave in their old ways, I have no idea. I have yet to think of what to change them.

But i have to say that some Ss are genetically low in IQ or mental maturity. You might mean well, they understand you, but they are still the same. They don't have enough courage and willingness to change. Simply because this is their nature - they are children. So the nagging goes on......

So you see, there is no use to engage rotan here. Because children are still children. They still play, jump, run, crawl and do funny things after you rotan them. So, what's the use of canning them? If it's not too serious, there is no need to rotan them. Save your energy, save your mind for doing better things.

Last week, I have one boy in Year 4 who poured water on electric switch, and forced his friends to touch it. Luckily, nothing bad happened. Yet, me as the class teacher had to punish him. He knew what he did was wrong, yet he did it. When asked why he did it, he said he just wanted to play. I would have easily taken out my half-an-inch rotan, but i didn't. As this is a serious case, the punishment for him would be to do community service. So he is sentenced to clean teacher quarters' compound. I am sure this will be a good lesson for him.

To what extent is verbal reprimands effective in classroom management and behaviour management, I have yet to find out. Probably I can give a better answer at the end of this year when I have enough cases and experiences and real stories to back up its effectiveness.

As for rotan, I am still using it for my Year 1's kids. Without seeing a rotan raised high on air, they will always be little monsters running and jumping in the class. But I am learning to use less of it each time I go in. So, rotan's still effective ey?

cross-cultural marriages?

(picture courtesy of mayakarin-fc.blogspot.com)

Reading today's headlines on NST "Actress Maya Karin to wed British teacher" makes me wanna write something on cross-cultural marriage.

To date, cross-cultural marriages are seen as a common trait. It is no longer seen as a shocking news when people were sceptical of couples of different cultures or races getting married. In Malaysia alone, we have three main ethnics group: Malays, Chinese and Indian. And it would be difficult for one to deny that any of these unique ethics groups isn't attracted to the other groups.


In Peninsular, we have Chindian (a mix of Chinese and Indians), Chinmays or Chilayu (a mix of Chinese and Malays), Mamak (an unpleasant label for a mix of Indian and Malays). And in Sabah and Sarawak, I am proud that we have more: Ciban (a mix of Chinese and Iban), Sinokadazan (a mix of Chinese and Kadazan), Eurasian (a mix of ang-mo and Malaysians), and many more kacukan that we haven't given them a label. All of these give to the beauty of cross-cultural marriage.

However, for these minority couples who had gone through cross-cultural marriages, they will tell you it is not easy or it has never been easy. It takes up a lot of one's energy, concentration, understanding of the other's beliefs, patience, tolerance, time, trusts and most importantly love to keep him going and the relationship working.

One thing that has always been such a headache and sometimes a cause for the break-up is blessing from each other's family. Many times, cross-cultural marriage will not be so complicated and difficult if families from both parties can agree or have no negative perception to this notion. This however has not been the case, marriage involving other cultures may ignite fear and insecurities among some families, particularly if they are the conservative ones. They fear badly for their son that he will stop practising his own cultures and way of lives, and start practising his partner's cultures and lifestyles. The lost of one's heritage, cultures, language and more importantly beliefs in religion are some reasons why some families are so sceptical of cross-cultural marriage.

Yet, we can't deny what beauty cross-cultural marriage can bring to us if we can deal with them nicely. There will be sharing of both unique cultures, understanding of each culture, further appreciation of celebration celebrated together and additional language learnt and shared between both. I personally have friends whose parents are of different ethnics and cultures who are beautiful physically and emotionally. They know more than just one mother tongue and they are better off understand another culture. And they have more celebrations than us who only have one.

As bystanders, we often think it is easier looked than done. We thought of how great and beautiful these couples' lives are. What we don't know is the hardship they have gone through and the many obstacles they had dealt with. And as I said again, a lot of selfless sacrifices, mutual understanding, listening, negotiation, give and take, trust and love will be needed to keep this relationship and marriage going. It is one huge decision one has to make once in a lifetime. And the saying that goes 'they live happily ever after' heard in fairy tales is just some plain crap.

And to Maya Karin and Muhammad Ali 'Steven' Muhammad, Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! i wish mine's in Milan too...