God speaks in my Passion

The following words are not mine, but quoted from a Passionate priest who at the retreat on 'God speaks in my Passion' gave us this talk/speech.

What is your passion?

There is a difference between living out your Vision and Managing your life. If we take the example of a group cutting through a jungle: the good Manager will have all the tools needed available, will have organized people to be cutting away at different points in the jungle, will have other people organized to clear the foliage cut down to ensure the path is clear for those coming up from behind, etc. The Person with Vision, on the other hand will be the one who climbs the highest tree and yells out "Hey guys, i think we're in the wrong jungle!"

You can choose to live your life, or you can choose to manage it. In an old film called "Maine," Aunty Maine said, "Life is a banquet, and most poor souls are starving to death." Living your life is about having vision, otherwise your life might be managed brilliantly, but where is it going?

Being Passionate about something is being outward focused, otherwise there will be stagnation and decline.

At his inaugural speech in 1994, Nelson Mandela quoted from a book called, "Return to Love" by Marianne Williams:

"...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our won fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Life is a banquet:
To me, live life as a banquet is to have a purpose in life. Just like a banquet, a banquet is held for a purpose, be it for someone's achievement or retirement. When it is such, the purpose of attending is not to enjoy the beautiful food there, but to attend to its purpose. When the purpose is wrong, banquet becomes meaningless. likewise, life becomes meaningless if we don't have a purpose or a vision.

At one point, banquet is beautiful and is often prepared with delicious food which pleases our eyes, lips, fingers, nose and stomach. it's good for our soul and stomach. Living a life as a banquet also means choosing and living a life in which our senses can offer us in our satisfaction, achievement, happiness, and fullness.

As 2006 comes to an end,
i will continue walking.
i will continue to seek His purpose in me.
i will continue to listen to the voice within.
i will continue to keep the Spirit burning.

i will continue learning.
i will continue to put my trust in Him.
i will continue to hold on to my conviction.
i will continue to let Him pedal.

Christmas at home

I must say that the Christmas this year has been a wonderful one. Plenty of good things and surprises came along this Christmas that went beyond my imagination.

The best Christmas gift i received year is not of my own. It's a borrowed digital camcorder. Last two weeks, i was struggling over a digital camcorder which failed to transfer a mini DV tape into my laptop. i was totally frustrated because i could not have all the data in DV tapes. Few CDs that i have were scratched badly and could not be used. i lost my hope in transfering the datas i must say, because my mind has already turned to how to use those data that i presently have, to make the best of them. It was until Christmas Eve that i asked my mum if my cousin has a digital camcorder. i didn't know what made me asked that question. I unexpectedly had determination to give it another try. It turned out very precisely on the Christmas night when i asked my cousin if she has a digital camcorder. She nodded and was willing to borrow me. That night, i was succeeded in transfering my mini DV tapes into my laptop. i was so excited. The feeling then was phenomenal!! I said it's the best gift for me because to some extent, it's a miracle by Him, or a voice within me that gives me a new hope.

My second Christmas gift was a pair of silver ear stud given by my cousins - Pauline ah jia, Irene ah jia and Siaw Ling ah jia. i wasn't expecting them to give me anything because i am a little too big (refusing to say 'old') to receive any present liao. But, they still gave me a beautiful present. What's more surprising was that they had me worn it. Aaaaaaarrrrrrr~~~

My third Christmas gift was a pair of glasses given by mum. Indeed, my previous glasses has broken. Its left 'leg' has broken into two, recently broken another. So, all together made 3 separate 'leg's. Now i have a new fashionable glasses which i will precious for another 3 years maybe, before my head gets any bigger.

My fourth Christmas gift was a trip to KK sponsored by my cousin - Siaw Ling ah jia. Truly, this sister of mine brought me around KK and Gunung Kinabalu on an old Pajero. We stayed overnight at Perkasa Hotel, the highest hotel in Kundasang because it is situated exactly on the mountain. The cloud was below us at night and in the morning. Cool~ We went for seafood makan, which cost us double digits. Wow~ I think the highlight for me in KK is to spend quality time at her work place and at Tanjung Aru, watching beautiful sunset.

My fifth Christmas gift was a special one. It is a unique present that is beyond material objects. It soothes my heart and gives me peace. It's a present by Santa Claus. Asked if i am excited o not? of course i am. It's St.Nicholas, the person to which the story of Santa Claus begins, who gives Nicholas Ling a gift wo. Of course this must be one precious one. What is important is not just to find out who writes it in which i've known of. instead, keeping it dearly in my heart and reminding myself everyday of these words r more important. Thank u Biribiri.

This Christmas has been a phenomenal one, an awesome one. Never have i known that i am a lucky person or man. Therefore, this year Christmas, i have learned something new which is to thank those who have done wonderful deeds and change in my life. Even to those who have not, i thank them for being present in my life. I have come to a realization that now i am no longer a 'take' or 'receive' person, i am now a man who must learn how to 'give' and 'share' and 'serve'.

~Learning to stay silence~

Someone special in my life

Christmas is always a time of joy, peace, happiness and more importantly hope. It fills me with joy to know that we have a savior born for us, and indeed we are celebrating. Just as our schedule is filled with activities like BBQ, partying, open-house, drinking, hanging out and stuffs, i like to think of it as a time of appreciation, a time to thank those who have helped me unceasingly, and brought incredible change in me. And as i began to reflect on my academic life in the past two years, my mind turns immediately to one person who has helped me unconditionally. She lifted me up when i was miserably defeated. She offered me unconditional help more than any person would do. And, this person is Jo Carr.

~Buka Puasa '05~
Jo is my course coordinator - ED47. When i first entered QUT, it was totally a different environment from IPBA. Then, she would make an appointment with all of my cohort every Friday afternoon, to talk to us informally and more importantly, to know more about us. One of the questions she asked then was, "Who here likes to be a teacher?", "Who never thinks that he/she's going to be a teacher?" and "Who is here because of their parents?" I remembered i was giggling at the back there with my friends. I wasn't really interested in her questions, but i enjoyed her English. It's very entertaining i must admit. We talked for like one hour before we were dismissed. We had that for almost a semester. Later, this made me realized that Jo is a friendly lecturer, someone whom i can talk easily to. And this set the ball rolling.

As she was one of my unit's lecturer, she always offered us help especially in draft correction. She didn't nag us, but in a polite manner, she asked us to send her assignment draft if we could finish it early. As a late-minute guy in IPBA, i was never interested in doing assignment early. But, i stubbornly sent her my draft (my first draft) a few days before its submission, and to my total surprise, there were many errors. and i mean a lot, countless of them. More surprisingly, it the reply or the corrected draft came in after few hours i sent in. How efficient i thought she is. No lecturer in m`sia would ever do that. This slowly motivated me to correct my mistakes, and slowly encouraged me to do my assignment early with the intention that she would correct it for me, and i would get an A for it. Back then, getting A is an impossible thing for me to do. Never in my IPBA life that i've ever got an A. An A seemed to be the hardest job i would want to achieve. As much as she has helped me with my draft, i became more motivated to do the same with other units as well. In the end of first semester, i was surprised to see that i'd actually got 2A's. All thanks to Jo and Jan who was my determined language support lecturer.

Second semester came, and it definitely had become tougher than the first. The highlight for the second semester is that i've failed my Children's Literature first assignment. On 21st Sept 05, after putting my effort and burning midnight oil in working on this assignment, it turned out 'miraculously' that i got a 3/7 which is a Low Pass - a grade that will cause my student visa to be terminated if i get more than 3 times. What caused me more frustrated was the unit's lecturer who didn't seem to be interested in my explanation. She declined my request to explain what i'd written. Well, i was down, shocked, disappointed, depressed, devastated and more seriously, HOPELESS. it seemed to me that my dream had been shattered by her. My heart cursed her more than anything, and i had no one to blame to. With a hopeless heart, i approached Jo, thinking that letting her know would be a better idea. She though was busy with other appointments, approached me in an understanding manner and asked me to calm down. She agreed to see me the next day. The next morning, when i told her my thought about letting this matter go and putting more efforts in the upcoming assignments, she didn't quite agree with my suggestion. Instead, she asked if i want my paper to be marked by second marker. She explained to me the pros and cons of paper being marked by second marker, followed by her suggestion. Suddenly, there was a hope beginning to shine inside. The whole process took me two weeks and during these days, i made an effort to see her and talk to her. Our talk was informal and she liked to cheer me up when i was stressed with upcoming final assignments and about the CL paper. Finally, the verdict has announced. They agreed to give me a pass. i couldn't be any happier and thankful for what Jo had done for me.

I remember this time last year (Christmas season), Jo and Meera had put up a makan at Beadles in Kelvin Grove. She realized that some of us did not make our way back home, and suggested that a simple treat and lunch would be a good idea. Besides having good talk there, Jo had shared her experience of having to teach in an island for more than 10 years. How phenomenal!
~Christmas last year~
It's needless to say that every semester is tougher than the previous ones. But what makes one think that 'it's easy' is an act of mind. If we are able shift our mind to think of something difficult as 'i can do it', then no mountain is too difficult to climb. Yet, it's not easy. In fact, it comes with a lot of courage, motivation, determination, resilience, perseverance and ongoing effort to actually to make our dream come true. And sometimes I must admit, I was faced with depression, demotivation, lonely, stress and hopeless thought. But Jo was there for me. She would always be at her office, unless she had classes to attend or outstation work to attend.

Everytime i met her, she would give me a big smile despite of her 'busy'ness. I knew she was very busy, yet i wanted to talk to her. Sometimes, i would tell her how stressful and busy i was, she would listen and give me a smile. Then, she would say 'Good. You still have 3 weeks left. Do what you can do'. Sometimes, if she herself is busy and feeling stressed, she would say, ' I know. I have got bla bla bla report to write, bla bla bla article to submit'. Until now, I never felt her pressuring me academically. Instead, she would ask me to relax, take deep breath or go for a walk. I think she knew i had been pushing myself too hard already. And i think what she said was true.

At times when i was demotivated and lazy to do my assignments, i would go and bug her to nag me, to give me words of motivation. lols. tat's a funny thing. She looked at me sternly in the face for a while and said 'You just have got to do it' or 'tell yourself you have to do it'. Sometimes, if she her is stressful, she would turn to me and sigh, 'i don't like writing bla bla too. Let's motivate each other okay.' I remember the last word of motivation she gave me during ICT presentation, 'what do you get (for your paper)?' then i replied '7'. 'then you have to work for it. it's your last paper. your last paper until Jan next year. keep reminding yourself of it'.

In these two years, Jo had been like a mother to me. there were many instances she helped me with things that i couldn't do alone, and she made them happened. And i am really grateful for all that she's done. In her simple personality, she motivates me when i was lazy and down. She taught me how to behave in an Australian classroom, how to teach, how to balance my life, how to Stand after a Fall. She listened to every single word i said: my complain, my whinge, my crap (which is actually quite offensive in aussie culture) and my request. She gave me words of wisdom and encouragement that i will not forget. And most importantly, she has changed my life.

The last words from her before we bid goodbye as we hugged were, 'Take care of yourself. Do whatever you believe it's right for you.'
~us at Sunshine Coast '06~
ps: She is in fact the first person that said 'JUST GO WITH THE FLOW' to me and my cohort.

Thank you Jo.

mystery

Why does it rain each time i am feeling sad or depressed?

Why do my friends have to start chatting to me when i was about to go offline, resulting in me to chat with them?

Why is the voice in my heart contrast with the voice my mind?

Ever since I went to KK, i spent vy less time with myself. Very often, my mind was actively functioning. Many thoughts were on my mind, both good and bad. A lot of uncertainties, uncertainties of what happens to me and what will happen in near future.

What's worsen the situation is my one important box which stubbornly do not arrive even after 3 weeks. This matter really worries me to the max. On Wednesday, i called those KLIA people up. They gave me a not surprising news - 'your parcel has not arrived yet Nick'. Sighhh. Yet, i continued to place my trust in whatever thing that is happening. Today, when i called them up this morning, it came with surprise to note that my parcel has finally arrived. I was astounded with joy and happiness as my mum shared the same joy with me when we were on our way to make my new glasses.

Since i got back from KK, i spent very little time with myself. With this i mean spending a good quality time with myself. More often, i talked to my parents throughout night until midnight, realizing later that one day is almost over. I was supposed to start on my Project 24 this holiday but to my disappointment, i have spent very little time on it. I knew with little time, i have spent it on playing games and chatting which are not important. Waaaaa~ i have set my priority wrong! And with my cousins coming and Christmas and New Year approaching, I do have a responsibility to spend time with them. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa~ where do i find a time with myself? When will i start on my Project 24? Sighhh.... i'm so demotivated. In need of motivation oledi.

With the arrival of my assignment box, it marked the first step to redeem my Science result. I have to wait until it arrives at my cousin's company, which possibly take another week after considering the Christmas holiday. Then, i have to check if i am the one who is at fault or my lecturer. If it's me, then i sure sure sure sure sure sure vy vy vy vy vy vy paiseh lor..... tak berani to redeem liao. but if it's not me, then i sure sure sure will fax him my result. Finally, we see what changes we can make lor.

See, today is 23rd Dec, another 2 will be Christmas. A season of joy, faith and hope. I really love it. And i am looking forward to it. I hope this year's Christmas will be an awesome and a blessed one. yay! Merry Christmas Everyone!

i need to start on Project 24 liaooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Scroll

For we know, children loved

by God, that he has chosen you,
because the gospel came
to you not simply with
words, but also with power,
with the Holy Spirit and
with deep conviction.

1 Thessalonians 1:4

Tug-o-war

What is a tug-o-war?
A tug-o-war, or more often referred to as a tug-of-war is a type of sport in which two teams show their strength by pulling against each other at the opposite ends of a rope, and each team tries to pull the other over a line on the ground.

When I first read WYD08 ePilgrimage Oct06 a week ago, I came across an article that spoke about 'life on earth can often be a struggle'. It was a good article but somehow i don't think i was taken aback by it, considering how my life's been stuffed with the downs lately. I don't mean my life has always been the downs, instead i mean mine brings its own special challenges and obstacles along with all sorts of joys and happiness that He has promised us.

With the homecoming of a prodigal son (exaggerating bit), i cannot tell you how shock and surprise my two parents are. They are astounded to the many things that has happened to me. One is physical changes that i've brought within these two years: getting slimmer (plz don't say thin), tanner, taller (Finally, i'm as tall as my father), ear pierced, and my 'botak' hair. Second is the mental and psychological changes i brought. I don't think they were too surprised with this, simply because the verdict has reveiled: Anonymous, one who has consistently left honest and wise advice happens to be my mum. Lols. Biribiri's speculation was right. Thank you.

Over the past few days, i have been occupied with many duties. There are not big. Nor do they pay me a cent upon their completion. But i got the chance to see the real world, the reality of the society and more importantly, to see my purpose in the society: where I'm at, and where I'm heading. These all fascinate me: both bright and ugly sides. Communicating with people older than me like my parents, cousins and close relatives got me realized the shallowness of my experience and knowledge. Like what olders like to say to the young, "I have eaten more salt than you eat rice". Truly, i have enjoyed listening to them, at the same time, considering and thinking over what they've said and taking those applicable. One legendary once said, "Only a fool learns from his own experience, smart people learn from others".

Lately, i have been thinking about my passion. There is a passion inside me that is burning like a fire. Yet, i can't be very sure what it is. As much as i think that my passion is about that something, I am interested in the other thing as well. Just as i go more deeply into thinking about these two things, reality strikes. BANG!!! As Anas once said jokingly, "reality hurts". Though he mentioned it in a joking manner, there is some truths in it. Yet, both of us always used to laugh our ways off it.

I believe, in every human being, especially as one grows older, there will always be internal tussles with temptations, confusion and desire. and for this reason, there is a Tug-o-war going on inside us, which if not solved effectively, can lead to unhealthy internal and external breakdown and tension! Like what Fr. Anthony in ePilgrimage Oct 06 said, "As people mature and advance in the spiritual life, they often experience these internal and external stresses all the more strongly." I think this is very true. And, i am going through this process.

But we are not alone. God, his angels and saints and his Church are there at our side to protect us, heal us, give us direction and strength. Whatever our struggles, we need never be overwhelmed. As Jesus taught us, God's grace is so great he can dispel our difficulties with a flick: "by the finger of God I cast out demons" (Lk 11:20)
Anthony Fisher OP (ePilgrimage Oct06 WYD)

"You did not choose me; I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit, the kind of fruit tht endures. And so the Father will give you whatever you ask of him in my name." (Jn 15:16)

>.<

There are so so so many things in life that i don't understand. I'm not okay now. i've tried, but i failed. Why? Things just don't work out the way i want it to be, and the worst thing is, it's wasting my time. My whole afternoon has flown without having a single thing copied into my laptop. Why? tell me Lord. tell me something plzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Am getting so impatient now.

My two boxes sent from Australia to Subang have not arrived yet.
Why?
I prayed that it will arrive one day, but it's now 3 weeks now, it's LOST!
Why?
I have 24 hours a day but i still don't have time for everything.
Why?
I have so many things happening unexpectedly to me now that i couldn't comprehend.
Why?
My Project is still nil.
Why?
I have my school mates back at home but i have yet to meet them once.
Why?
I have so many prayers unanswered (yet or maybe never).
Why?
I thought i am patient, but i don't think i am right now.
Why?

I'm not happy with Jesus now. i really am. Don't want to talk to Him anymore.
Don't don't don't don't don'ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A prayer

It's been a tiring day. And this prayer sent to me by Aunty summed up my prayer 2nite, a prayer for all my friends out there. It's beautiful and unique.

I have prayed for you today......

The Holy Alphabet... This is Beautiful



Whoever came up with this one must have had some Divine guidance!



Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
X alting God most high
Y es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Z ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!" The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.

Home

It's good to be home. And, i'm finally home. Practically, food will never be a problem. No longer do i need to think of what to eat today, what to cook today, what kind of vegetables do i need to buy today, what time should i cook today. All of these will be the last thing that i will ever think about now. because now i have got my favorite food placed on table waiting to be crunched and munched. Very often, these delicious food can be sniffed meters away from kitchen. this is one of the advantages of being home.

There are several advantages and disadvantages of being home. One advantage was mentioned above. Another one would be hanging out with friends or long-lost friends. it's been ages since i last met them. and i wish to have those memories back then to come back. But how can i turn back time to repeat the same memory again? it's impossible. i'm no longer a little boy as i used to have. Yet, i still have a heart of boy - active, hyper, gifted, bright (i think) and witty. tomorrow, i will go track down those who are still in Sibu, who escapes UNI class and who have not returned to Uni. Lots of chit-chat to catch up, and craps to talk about: girlfriends, study, work, games, cars, phone, house, condominium, orang-utan pondok etc etc.

Another advantage is to do my own thing. there are many things i have to do within this one month: Project 24, creating website, watching movies, shopping, lim teh, lim teh again and again. I am making an effort to do more than i can everyday. Tomorrow will be a better day. And everyday is a surprise and i am going to live my life to the fullest. :)

However, i am not used to this environment. An environment of worries-free, comfort-zone, and laid-back. Having to study in Australia for two years, i have learnt to be competitive, to be self-motivated, to take neccesary risks, and to be determined in doing things that i want to do.
These are some values that i brought within me back home; and i don't want to lose them. in fact, i am afraid that one day i might return to my old self. NoNo~~ i shouldn't be thinking such. Sometimes, i was a little surprised at my friends when they told me something like, 'why bother to try hard when you know you're just getting a Pass?' or 'As long as i don't fail, i'm safe.' i never had such thought ever since i was in Australia. Funny thing is i never believed that i would just get a Pass, even to the extent that i failed my paper. I tried and i failed, and i try again, try until i exceed.

There are two ways you can choose to believe the word 'try'. It's either one by Simpson who once said, "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'", or by Thomas Edison who once said, "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time". Make a choice. i have made mine, have you?

I have a dream in me that is quite impossible to come true. That dream is not created by me. It comes from my heart. Yet i created the dream. It's impossible now because i'm not ready, nor am i prepared. So it's time to prepare for the big big task!!!

One day...

and One day... ...

and maybe One day... ... ... it will come true

a self-reflection for the coming of Christmas

1ST SUNDAY OF ADVENT C

3rd December 2006 (NEO/SHC/SSC)

Jeremiah 33:14-16
Psalm 24:4-5. 8-9. 10. 14. R. v. 1
1 Thessalonians 3:12-4:2
Luke 21:25-28. 34-36

Theme: PREPARE FOR THE COMING OF JESUS CHRIST AT CHRISTMAS AND AT THE END OF TIME

1. Today is the First Sunday of Advent! Today is also New Year’s Day for the Church Year C! Today is the first day of the New Year C of the Church. Advent means coming (Latin). Advent is a time when we prepare for the Coming of Jesus Christ at Christmas and at the end of time!

Jesus came 2000 years ago and Jesus Christ will come again a second time at the end of time! When we celebrate Christmas we remember the first coming of Jesus Christ 2000 years ago, not only in the sense of remembering something of the past, but also in the sense of making present and effective in the power of the Holy Spirit what Jesus Christ did 2000 years ago, so that when Jesus Christ comes at second time at the end of the world, it will be a consummation, that is, fulfillment, completion and perfection of his first coming 2000 years ago!

Thus we speak of the 3 Comings of Jesus Christ, that is, Jesus Christ came in Memory 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ continues to come in Mystery every Christmas (Christ-Mass), and Jesus Christ will come at the end of time in Majesty! The 3 comings of Jesus Christ in Memory, Mystery and Majesty are distinct but inseparable!

2. From today, the first Sunday of Advent until the 16th of December, inclusive, the liturgy focuses on the second coming of Jesus Christ at the end of time. From the 17th of December until the 24th of December (Christmas Eve), the liturgy focuses on the first coming of Jesus Christ 2000 years ago.

The gospel today tells us of the second coming of Jesus Christ! The gospel tells us that at the end of time, the sun, moon, and stars will be shaken; the seas will be in turmoil and those who do not believe will die of fear! More importantly, the gospel tells us that the Son of Man will come in a cloud in glory and those who believe will be liberated, saved and redeemed!

Most importantly, the gospel tells us to stay awake and to pray, to prepare for the coming of Jesus Christ! In order to stay awake for the coming of Jesus Christ we have to pray! The gospel of Luke is a gospel of prayer!

The gospel tells us not to be “intoxicated” with alcohol, sex, money, etc., and the world in general, but to stay awake with prayer; so that when Jesus Christ comes a second time we will be able to stand with confidence before Him!

3. The first reading tells us that the Jesus who will come again a second time at the end of the world is the same Jesus who came a first time 2000 years ago! Thus the first reading tells us of the first coming of Jesus Christ 2000 years ago. The first reading tells us of the first coming of Jesus Christ as the Messiah promised to David. He is the fulfillment of the promise made to David! He is the descendent and successor of David! He will be virtuous, righteous and just, and will do what is right and just, but not only in the ethical and moralistic sense, but also and especially in the spiritual sense, that is, he will liberate, save and redeem! (R H Fuller) Thus the first reading continues that, Judah will be saved and Israel will be secured and Jerusalem will be called ‘the Lord is our righteousness (HCSB), our justice (CSB), and our Saving-Justice’! (NJB)

4. The responsorial psalm is from psalm 25. Psalm 25 is a prayer for God’s forgiveness and guidance (CSB). The responsorial psalm today is an extract from psalm 25 on a prayer for God’s guidance. Thus the first stanza of the responsorial psalm: “Lord, make me know your ways. Lord, teach me your paths. Make me walk in your truth, and teach me: for you are God my savior.” (Ps 24 (25): 4-5)

5. Finally, the second reading tells us to prepare for the second coming of Jesus Christ by loving one another (reciprocal love) and by loving the whole human race! The second reading also tells us to prepare for the second coming of Jesus Christ by living holy lives!

6. During this time of Advent, the Church also tells us to prepare for the coming of Jesus Christ at Christmas and at the end of time: (i) by repentance and conversion, that is, by going to confession; (ii) by doing penance, though unlike Lent, Advent is not primarily a penitential season, but a season of joyful expectation. Penance helps us to repent and to convert, and to prepare ourselves for the coming of Jesus Christ. (iii) The Church also asks us to be Santa Claus (St. Nicholas, from Dutch) to the poor, the needy, the aged, the sick, the disabled, etc., especially to poor, sick and needy children, that is, to give gifts and to practice charity to the poor! (iv) The Church also asks us to go caroling to announce the good news of Christmas to others! (v) Above all, as in the gospel today, the Church asks us to pray! And one good way of praying is for every family to come together once a week for one hour to share and pray on the “Word of God” as proclaimed in the Sunday Mass readings!

7. Today in the Eucharist we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and we eat his body and drink his blood, and our risen Lord will give us his Holy Spirit, to help us during this time of Advent, to prepare for the coming of Jesus Christ at Christmas and at the end of time!

Amen!

Suggested questions for individual reflection and for sharing in the families, in small groups and in small communities:

1. What does the gospel say to you? What does the first reading say to you? What does the responsorial psalm say to you? What does the second reading say to you? Read aloud any verse or verses that touch you in today’s readings: “ ….”

2. What do these verses from the gospel of today say to you:
(i) “And then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand erect, hold your heads high, because your liberation is near at hand.”? (Lk 21: 27-28)

(ii) “Stay awake, praying at all times for the strength to survive all that is going to happen, and to stand with confidence before the Son of Man.”? (Lk 21:36)

3. What does the first reading say to you: “See, the days are coming – it is the Lord who speaks – when I am going to fulfill the promise I made to the House of Israel and the House of Judah: ‘In those days and at that time, I will make a virtuous Branch grow for David, who shall practice honesty and integrity in the land. In those days Judah shall be saved and Israel shall dwell in confidence. And this is the name the city will be called: The Lord-our-integrity.’”? (Jr 33:14-16)

4. What does this extract from the second reading say to you: “May the Lord be generous in increasing your love and make you love one another and the whole human race as much as we love you. And may he so confirm your hearts in holiness that you may be blameless in the sight of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus Christ comes with all his saints.”? (1 Th 3:12-13)

5. What does the “Opening Prayer” of today’s Mass say to you: “All-powerful God, increase our strength of will for doing good that Christ may find an eager welcome at his coming and call us to his side in the kingdom of heaven where he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever.”?

6. What does this extract from the “Gospel acclamation” of today’s Mass say to you: “Let us see, O Lord, your mercy and give us your saving help.”? (Ps 84:8)

7. What does this extract from the “Preface of Advent 1” say to you: “Father, when he humbled himself to come among us as a man, he fulfilled the plan you formed long ago and opened for us the way to salvation. Now we watch for the day, hoping that the salvation promised us will be ours when Christ our Lord will come again in his glory.”?

8. What do these extracts from the “Solemn Blessing” of Advent say to you:
(i) “You believe that the Son of God once came to us; you look for him to come again. May his coming bring you the light of his holiness and free you with his blessing.”?

(ii) “You rejoice that our Redeemer came to live with us as man. When he comes again in glory, may he reward you with endless life.”?

9. During this time of Advent, how do you prepare for the coming of Jesus Christ at Christmas and at the end of time?

10. Are you a “Santa Claus” (St. Nicholas, from Dutch) to the poor, the needy, the sick, the aged, the handicapped, the disabled, etc.?

11. “Praying” is the best way to “stay awake” for the Coming of Jesus Christ (Lk 21:36): how, when and where do you pray during this time of Advent?

12. During this time of Advent, how do you “love one another and the whole human race”? (1 Th 3:12)

13. Are there any other questions that you would like to suggest for reflection and sharing?

14. Are there any other experiences that you would like to share?


St. Peter’s College, 575 Jalan Sang Kancil Tiga, 88300 Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia, 4th December 2006

Journey to Bundaberg Part 3

My period of working at the capsicum farm was not long. 3 days. It was short because the market price for it was low, and my boss was not willing to sell it for any cheaper than a certain price. It ended up that we as casual workers had to stop working by 9 am. 4 hours of work only for the whole day. In me and my friends’ mind, we were not happy because not only could we not work for long hours, the boss told us that there won’t be any work until next Monday. And it was Wednesday that day. Another uncertain day I would have tomorrow I thought. Another one.

I really loved working at the capsicum farm. It’s easy and the boss’s nice, kind and generous. How I wished I could work there longer. That day and the next few days I prayed that the farm would have a better market price.

The next day, I got a work, a work at a sweet potatoes farm. The farm is called MRB farm. Of 8 peoples’ working there, 1 came from Istonia and 3 came from South Korea and 3 were from Japan, and I alone a Malaysian. Basically, this farm has huge massive wide lands for different types of crops, including watermelon and zucchini. But the sweet potatoes farm is the biggest. On the first day, I did planting, weeding, plucking and packing. Planting is surprisingly easy as compared to last year. The one I had last year was a contract job – 1 meter is 12 cent, and I suffered horribly. This farm does not offer contract job to planting and any other jobs except vining. In this farm, we do not have fix work for each day. On some days, we did plucking and packing; and on some days, we did vining, planting and plucking. So our work basically rotated around these few work.

Weeding is one of the simplest jobs ever. Basically we just need to walk along a row and pull out unwanted plants around it. There was one day that we weeded for the whole day, from 6-12pm. No… it’s not good. Thinking at first that it would be a pleasant day ahead, we went exhausted from pulling those stubborn weed below.

Staying a life as a backpacker has given a wholesome experience about why people want to backpack, how they go about backpacking without bringing much money on them, what keeps them motivated to go about fruitpicking without feeling bored, and what brings them here in Australia. There are the good and the bad things about backpacking. And I am glad that my arrival this year has offered me many opportunities to see the world, the good side of Bundaberg than the bad, to see how our never-fair racial-discriminated world is acting towards the not-so-privileged ones. And I have met new friends: friends who helped me on the farm, friends who celebrated my birthday, friends who cooked for me, friends who offered help when help is needed, friends who bring back watermelon, and friends who forgive me for splashing water on him during work. It’s been such an experiential unexpected journey to be at Bundaberg this year. And I praised and thanked Jesus for it.

Journey to Bundaberg Part 2

We stayed at Lyelta Motel first as there was no vacancy at Workers and Divers. I actually stayed with an old bloke in a dorm room. There’s supposed to have only double-decker beds but surprisingly, I saw an empty double bed in there. I did not sleep on the latter, afraid that it could be for someone else. This bloke, my roommate, to whom was called Phil was a funny lame lazy bloke. Why? Simply because he never or very seldom showered, very seldom go out of the room, jobless, had a strong country aussie slang, not talkative, not disturbing, and most surprisingly, caring person. Because I had work the next day, I usually slept very early, as early as 9pm. And guess what, he would ask me if he wanted the light to be switched off and the sound turned down. Lols. See how caring he was. I always told Miza and Ili that this apek was very weird because he never left the room and lied down on the bed WHOLE day watching tv. How interesting and weird!

(ma, ili's, and miza's room)

Anyway, talking about my job here, sadly, I was jobless the day after I arrived. As much as I knew it was Sunday and there was not going to be many jobs available on that day, I felt a little down because Miza and Ili would be working, on cherry tomatoes farm. Yet, I told myself to not give up. Actually, I brought along my diary with me to jot down what would be happening to me. That night, I asked a lot of questions, thousand and one questions about why God brought me to this place and what He wants me to do and why didn’t I get any job as He has promised, etc etc etc. It was exactly at a silent moment after my whinging that something came into my mind, ‘Stop asking so many questions, listen. Be patient’. It’s interesting to note that each time I am impatient, I was reminded of the simple story Bishop used to tell me about Jesus: His great patience to wait until He came to age of 30 to start preaching, spreading and performing miracles despite the fact that He knows he is the Son of God.

I spent the next day, Sunday reading through some scriptures in the Bible. Someone had a request for me a few days ago, one and the only request is to bring the Bible with me and to read it whenever I am free. I read plenty of stories, but too lazy to write them down. Reflectively, I should be writing something down next time. Ermm, learning to write something down, at least something. The next thing I did was listening to Ipod. As far as my worries still prevailed a little, I like to listen to a more spiritual music. Really loves the song by Emmanuel Worship, ‘God will make a way’. Its first sentence had already struck my heart: no need to worry about yesterday, no need to panic this life you save, something is coming can’t you see it, God will make a way through the desert. I smiled finally. Evening came, and work list for the next day was finally out. The feeling before looking at it was awful. I never liked this kind of thing because you’d never know what you might be doing the next day. Even if you have an awesome job today, you might see yourself in cherry tomatoes farm the next day. Uncertain jobs, that’s what I meant. But when I saw my name under a capsicum farm, I was totally excited and praising God in my heart.

The next three days I worked on the same capsicum farm. Again, the feelings before checking work list I told u remained unpredictable and anticipating. As much as I had surrendered myself to Him, there is a sense of uncertainties as to where He would be bringing me. It’s His plan that is working in me. And I wanted it to be such because I believe He will not let me do things that He knows I can’t do and handle. This peace and comfort were what remained in me. I still read Bible u know though not writing anything down.

Working on a capsicum farm was experiential, interesting and easy. Everyday, I had to wake up at 4am. There would be a van from Workers and Divers to pick me and my friends up. Our work started at 5am everyday. Then, it was still spring, and it was cool in the morning, the perfect time to work. By the way, as summer was approaching, dawn breaks earlier in the morning. Usually, by 4.30a.m., you’ll see the sun starting to shine on ‘beautiful’ plantations in Bundaberg. My job basically was to pick capsicums. As capsicum grows low on ground - probably 12 inches is the highest height a capsicum plant can grow, I had to bend my body down and pluck them and put them in a big bucket. One row of capsicum plantation is probably 200 meters, and I had to drag a bucket of green capsicums along the row. It’s not easy at first to learn how to pick the right capsicums because any capsicum that is too small, a little reddish, or even too greenish would not be acceptable. Yet, it’s interesting to have learnt to identify good capsicums from bad ones. Our boss was a good bloke. He would give us 10 minutes break for each completing row (trust me, my experience had me believed that there’s no boss that would give free break). He is an Italian and hardly speaks good English, not to mention aussie country slang. Aaa… he’s so funny each time he spoke to us. At the end of the first day of work, my leg muscles ached. Very painful because I’d not trained my leg for a long time. Yet the work was great, the money was great, the people were great, and I really loved it.

(me n Jan Beulker - a German fren who worked at the same farm as me, capsicum)

Journey to Bundaberg Part 1

Bundaberg, situated approximately 500km from Brisbane, is famous for its sugar plantation, beautiful Bargara Beach and its ‘attractive’ sweat-flowing working opportunities overcrowded largely by backpackers. The conclusion remarks I could sum up about my experience there last year were ‘horrible’, ‘sucks’, ‘shit’ and ‘I’ll never ever go back to this sh*t place again, never!’. Very simple reasons actually: bad job, bad money, bad accommodation, bad weather and bad season to work, except one thing good, good people.

One of my plans before leaving back to Malaysia this year was to work part-time. Finding a job in Brisbane at that time (3 weeks before leaving) does not appeal me for its low wages of working part-time. The next plan was to go AMH (Australian Meat Holdings) in Toowomba, the exact same place I worked early this year after Bundy. This job promised easy job and good money. Furthermore, it’s just 125km from Brisbane. Taking a bus would only take 1½ hour to arrive. But, I ended up going Bundy surprisingly. Actually, very.

As much as my heart desire to earn more money and crave for easy jobs at beef factory, there seemed to be little or no drive that pushed me forward towards attending that plan. Maybe it’s because of my ‘busy’ness in completing my final few assignments that hindered me from thinking too much about the plan of fruitpicking. This journey to Bundy was not planned until two day before my departure. In my heart and mind, I’ve been telling myself not to step a foot on that piece of land again.

Yet, instead of whinging about what I might be working in the next few weeks, I actually prayed to Jesus to help me make a wise decision. I prayed simple prayers, asking Him to show me where He wants to lead me. And, maybe because of my lazy attitude that God knows me, I decided to go Bundy just because Miza, my friend made an effort to call Workers and Divers, the place we’d be working. ‘Good’ news came pretty quickly and hastily when she told me ‘we are leaving this Saturday’. I had mix feelings about working there. Many unpleasant experiences had led me to think that the same thing would be happening again. But the fact that I have two friends going there as well consoled the many worries inside me, thinking that even if I would have bad jobs, I still have my friends around.

Saturday came pretty quickly because not only did I have to pack my bags for this trip, I still had Jo’s assignment which I had not completed and final packing back for Malaysia. I remembered many uncertainties that I thought we might have later, especially for a first-timer backpacker, Ili, who is also sweet and gentle in which I believed was not able to go through that 3 weeks. In the train leaving north, Miza and I shared our stories of fruitpicking. As you’ve already known, mine was awful but Miza’s was awesome. She had plenty of interesting stories to share. In the end, we told ourselves to keep our fingers crossed for this coming three weeks in an optimistic hope that we would get a good job, good money and good experience before leaving back for good.

(Front: Miza, Ili
Second row: Sarah, Nasrul,
Third row: Leila)

The train finally touched down at 3 something in the afternoon. It was a little cloudy and the train station and the city brought back every single memory that I had there last year. Yet I dared not think too much or indulged myself into thinking about the past experience. Already in my heart, I have surrendered myself up to God, believing that He will not let me down if I had faith in Him, to believe that He has a greater plan for me this time in Bundy. Well, John, one of the two managers of Workers and Divers Hostel arrived with the distinctive same old van I saw last year.
It filled us with great hospitality and comfort when he told us that plenty of farms are opened now, and that it is a season for many different types of vegetables and fruits, e.g. corns, sweet potatoes, cherry tomatoes, tomatoes, rockmelons, watermelons, capsicums and chillies. Yet, we realized that just as many farms that they have offered, there are many backpackers there too, approximately 90 of them. It turned out that having the three of us to work together on the farm would be something very difficult to arrange, and since job arrangement was done by them, we did not know what jobs we might be getting every single day. Fingers crossed, once again.